Learning to Live Novel – I felt a piece of paper in my husband Justin’s back pocket when I am starting laundry. It was a woman’s handwriting. Curiously, I opened the letter and immediately was taken back when I read the words: Sweetheart, I have missed you so much this week! I didn’t think you were ever going to get back in town! I’ve missed your touch and your sweet lips. I am glad to see you are back. I can’t wait to spend some time with you. When can you get away? What do you think? Call me later when you get a chance. I love you, Melody I dropped the letter to the floor and put my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming. Questions flooded her head. ‘ Who was Melody? It couldn’t be the boss’s daughter! How long had they been having an affair? How old is she anyway?
As Gabbie divided pictures of their life together, she ran across one taken of the family a year ago at Panama Beach. It was then, after they arrived home from their last family vacation, that she found out about Justin’s affair with his boss’s daughter. She held the picture in her hands and recalled the day that led to her divorce. She was downstairs in the basement starting laundry. Turning socks right side out and going through pockets, as usual, when she felt a piece of paper in Justin’s back pocket. The note was folded but she was able to see through it. It was a woman’s handwriting. Curiously, she opened the letter and immediately was taken back when she read the words: Sweetheart, I have missed you so much this week! I didn’t think you were ever going to get back in town! I’ve missed your touch and your sweet lips.
I am glad to see you are back. I can’t wait to spend some time with you. When can you get away? I’m sure dad can plan another “business trip”. We can go away for the weekend. What do you think? Call me later when you get a chance. I love you, Melody She dropped the letter to the floor and put her hands over her mouth to keep from screaming. Questions flooded her head. ‘ Who was Melody? It couldn’t be the boss’s daughter! How long had they been having an affair? How many so called ‘business trips’ have they been on together? How old is she anyway? 15!? What does she look like? Is she married, too? Does she have kids? Have I seen her out somewhere and not known who she was? Does she know me? When did this start…when!? How could I have been so blind to not know this was going on? The nerve of this woman having an affair with my husband!’
Gabbie knew her marriage was on the worse side of “For better or for worse” for the last couple years. She couldn’t do anything to suit him, especially financially. Even though her income was substantial, he didn’t realize how hard she worked to get it. He didn’t see the endless hours she put in or the stacks of paperwork on her desk. He didn’t see the checkbook or pay the bills. She was in charge of the accounting part of the marriage. Justin carried a debit card from their account and got what he wanted, even if they really couldn’t afford it. But eventually, with both incomes, she was able to double the payments on their vehicles to get them both paid off early. She was truly grateful for not having a car payment at that point in her life. One less payment to worry about. They were also ahead on the house payment by three months. They owned a couple four wheelers, a camper and a Jeep they enjoyed in the summer time. But it wasn’t by his income alone.
He always said everything was his and he bought it all. Justin didn’t bother giving her recognition for any of it. To him, she made pocket change. Justin blamed her for laying around the house all day and doing nothing. He didn’t pay attention to the clean house, clean clothes or that supper was on the table every night. Most of the time, it was one of those nights of ‘working late’, he wasn’t home to eat anyway. He degraded her cooking, her looks and her actions. She was a worthless wife and mother and he let her know about it every chance he got. Gabbie suggested marriage counseling to him a few times in the past but his reaction was always ” You need the counseling not me! I’m not the problem here! You are! You need to learn how to be a better wife and mother.” The words ripped gashes Gabbie’s heart. She thought she was doing her best but it still didn’t please him. And that’s what she desperately wanted and needed.
She needed to know she was a good wife to him and mother to his children. She didn’t feel their problems were all her fault. Yes, maybe she did need some counseling and advice but he needed it also. No one’s perfect nor would they ever be. Even through all their problems, Gabbie still trusted him and believed in him. She felt that in time, things would get better. Divorce wasn’t an option for her. She was brought up to believe marriage was forever. Gabbie chose to stick by him and see their problems through. But after finding the letter, she was face to face with her worst nightmare. Infidelity. She wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. She knew what she wanted to do. Drive straight to his job site, throw the letter at him, demand answers and maybe even hit him in the head with his hammer. But instead, she picked the letter up off the floor and tucked it in her pocket. Gabbie jolted back to reality with the ringing of Justin’s cell phone.
She watched as he glanced at the caller ID and turn the ringer off. “Go ahead answer it. Tell her you’ll be done here in a few minutes. There’s nothing to hide now, Justin. You’re a free man.” A little anger mixed with hurt shown through her words. Justin didn’t reply. He just looked at her and went back to separating the pictures. “You know Justin, if you two continue on with what you’re doing, we are going to have to tell the kids about her… and soon. Before long, this whole town is going to know. I don’t want them to be the last to find out.” Her voice was soft spoken but trembling and on the edge of bitterness. Still no reply from Justin. After another half hour of deafening silence, Justin had gathered the small pile of pictures he wanted to keep, leaving Gabbie sitting on the floor with her pile and a few to copy. “I think I’m done here.” Justin stood up and straightened his pant legs. “I have to get back to the job site.” “You can come back here tonight.
It shouldn’t take me very long to gather the rest of our things. Me and the kids are going to start staying at mom’s from tonight on until I find a place to live. I will be back with dad’s truck to get the rocking chairs.” She looked around, fighting back tears, at a house full of furniture and memories then back up to him. “Everything else here is yours.” “That’s fine but you still have a few weeks before…” his hand gripping the door handle. Gabbie quickly interrupted “I don’t feel like I belong here anymore. The house feels cold to me. I think…I think it’s better if we didn’t stay any longer.” She stood up and walked over to stand in front of him. “I would like to say something and I hope you will listen.” Their eyes met for a few seconds. Justin could see the hurt on her face. A tinge of remorse trickled down in his spine. He shook the feeling off just as he had done so many times in the past. This was what he wanted. His freedom. His exciting life that he’d found with Melody.
Whatever hurt he caused Gabbie, it would eventually subside and she would get on with her life, just as he had. He was positive. “I want you to know that I still love you… I always will.” The urge to break down was stronger than ever. “When I married you, I made a vow that I would love you forever. I loved my life. I loved being your wife and mother to our kids. I loved this house. And some how, I know we could’ve worked through this. I’m sorry for not being the wife you wanted me to be or the mother you thought I should’ve been. I’m sorry I didn’t satisfy you.”
Her hands grew sweaty, her body trembled and she felt like she wanted to give way to the desire to fall to the floor and weep all the hurt away. She yearned for his touch of comfort she’d once felt from him. Instead, there was a blank far-a-way look in his eyes. Justin turned and walked out the door with no comment. Tears welled in her eyes as she watched his truck pull out of the driveway. ‘ Where is the guy I married ten years ago ?’ He has been replaced with a hard hearted man she didn’t know. The wedding vows they had taken together were shattered. Memories made in their home were going to be replaced with him and someone else. She was going to live the rest of her life alone.