Ride Or Die: The President’s Regret Novel – Courtney POV. Today is my 20th birthday. I stand here alone, dressed in all black. The rain beats against the umbrella that is in my hand, mimicking my own sorrow as the tears fall silently. My free hand reaches up to the gold chain that is around my neck. Where mom’s wedding ring sits. The ring my semen donor gave her when he married her. I don’t even know who he is or why she left him. All I know is that she ran with me when I was a baby. She promised me she would tell me on my twenty-first birthday. But she never will. A small kick makes me drop the necklace and I rub my swollen belly. Yes, twenty years old and pregnant. The man I thought I was in love with and loved me only lasted a few months before I found him balls deep in some other woman. According to her, I was a child and couldn’t handle a man like him.
He didn’t even shut her up, she can have him. I don’t need him or his precious club. Kaden Venom Frost is a president of a motorcycle club or MC called Satan’s Reapers. I had no business getting involved with a man like him, but I did and look how that ended. Momma always warned me to stay away from bikers. All they do is cause you heartache, she would say. She wasn’t wrong because they do. We moved here not long after I found out I was pregnant where there weren’t any bikers. If any were seen in any town we were in, we would up and leave, leaving no trace of our presence. Why was she running like this? Either way. It no longer matters. She was diagnosed with cancer not long after we moved here. Stage 4, she was given six weeks to live; she lasted twelve. I held her hand as she took her final breath just past midnight on Christmas. I won’t remember her like that. I will remember her as the carefree, fun-loving and proud momma bear she was. The priest is speaking, but I’m not listening. It is only me and him here. We kept to ourselves and because we moved so often, we never made friends with anyone. I’m truly alone. Well, not completely. In about four months, my little bean will be here.
This baby is loved so deeply already. Momma left a lot of money for us. I think she always knew something like this would happen. “Amen.” The priest says and I repeat what he has said. I look down and my momma is now in her final resting place. I walk to the mound of earth and take a hand full I walk towards the edge and smile down. “Momma, you are no longer in pain. Please don’t worry about us, we will both be ok. I know you will always be here, momma. I love you so much. Rest in peace.” I throw the dirt and step back and just watch as the ground is slowly being covered. I wait until she is completely covered. No sooner did they shovel the last of the earth did the rain stop and the sun shone through. The God rays shining down on momma’s final resting place. I chuckle and look up at the sky. A sad smile on my face. “Love you, momma. Always light the way.” I turn to walk towards my car when I heard the distance rumble of motorbikes. I freeze, then shake my head as I walk away. Only to stop when a huge convoy of bikes enters the cemetery. I just stand back and watch.
The leader pulls over and jumps from his bike, throwing his helmet as he runs towards … Momma’s grave. He drops to his knees and screams in pain. Who is he? I stand there in shock at what I’m seeing. I stagger slightly no. Not now! Why now? “Caitlyn!” He roars and my breath catches in my throat. I’m stuck. I can’t move, even though everything in me is telling me to move and get out of there. He is sobbing when he turns his head and looks right at me. His eyes go wide like he is seeing a ghost. He mumbles something under his breath and all the men turn to look at me. Oh! “Courtney, baby girl, is that you?” I walk away as fast as I can towards my car when my upper arm is grabbed. I turn round, and on instinct, I punch him in the face. The men gasp and some are wincing with the force I used. He looks at me, blood pouring from his nose and lip. “Never, and I mean ever, put your hands on me, sir. I don’t know who you think you are or why you are here. But back off.”
I snap at him and he looks at me, stunned. I think I broke him. “Courtney. I’ve finally found you, baby girl. I have been looking for you and your momma for twenty years.” Nooooo way! No, no, no, no, I refuse to believe this prick is my semen donor. There is no chance. I fight the urge to vomit. My heart is beating hard and loudly. Can he hear it? Why is so big? Then again, all bikers are. I’m almost certain they are werewolves or something. Either that or they truly love steroids. I mean, he puts the hulk to shame. And I … Oh, I’ve just punched him in the face. “You have the wrong person. I don’t know who you are referring to. Sorry for your loss.” I say as I step back before looking him up and down in disgust. How dare he? Like seriously. f**k him and his heartbreak. If momma could see me now, she would be laughing at my choice of words right after she shot him.
“You’re so much like her, a real spitfire. Same red hair as her, but those eyes, baby girl, those eyes are mine. Not to mention that gold chain with the diamond wedding band around your neck are your momma’s. My wife.” I instinctively touch the chain. No! Absolutely not. “Courtney Nevaeh Morrison, you are my daughter. I have been looking for you both for the past twenty years. Now I have found you. I’m not letting you go.” The tears are falling from my eyes, but not with joy. No, from hate, rage, and anger. I’m shaking with it, ready to explode like an atom bomb. How dare he? Who the f**k does he think he is? Oh right, daddy dearest. Well! “You think you can claim me as your long-lost daughter after twenty years? You’re dead wrong. I ain’t going anywhere with you. Try it if you dare. But don’t think I won’t put up a fight, because I will happily lay you out.” I say and he smiles at me, full of amusement. “Ok, ok. You will come to me when you are ready.
The name is …” “I don’t care who are you or what your name is. I don’t need you and I never have. I have been doing well without you. Goodbye.” I turn and walk away towards my car. “Keep telling yourself that, darlin. But you and your baby will come to me soon enough. I’m not giving up on you, Courtney. Not now, not ever.” He shouts after me. I reach my car and stop. Looking over my shoulder. “Too bad you will be waiting a long time. Because that will never happen. I would say it was nice to meet you, but momma always told me to tell the truth. So I won’t.” I open the car door and climb inside, slamming the door shut. My hands are shaking, and my heart is racing. My little bean is quiet for now. I start my car and drive away. Checking the rear-view to make sure I’m not being followed. Which I’m not. Thank you, momma and God, of course. Looks like I need to leave and find a new town. I chuckle. What’s the point? He has found me now; I need to get rid of the car and use momma’s for a while. I pull into the street where our house is. The street is quiet; the neighbors watch out for each other and it’s super safe. I drive toward the house and park the car in the garage.
Thank god. I climb out and walk out of the garage, pressing the fob for the garage doors to roll closed. I walk up the porch steps and open the front door. Kicking it closed behind me. I remove my shoes and coat. I walk barefoot into the living room. I look at the sofa, expecting to see her sitting there. I sigh and wipe my eyes as I walk to the kitchen and wash my hands and make a drink. I lean my butt against the counter and think of the cluster f**k today has been. I pat my belly as bean kicks again. “It’s ok baby, we will be ok. I will make sure we are.” I sigh as I move back to the living room and sit down on the sofa. Before I know it, I’m sobbing, clutching a pillow to my chest as I let it out. Tomorrow is a new day. Silver linings and all.
Courtney POV. “Ok, sweetie, stop doing that unless you want me to pee my pants?” I stretch in bed and bean kicks and wiggles on my bladder. I chuckle and rub my growing bump. I push up and stand, rubbing my eyes as I enter my en-suite bathroom. I look in the mirror that is over the sinks and wince. My eyes are crusty and swollen from all the crying and my pale skin is blotchy. Dried drool on my cheek, lovely. I use the toilet and wash my hands and face. Grabbing my toothbrush, I get to work. Wiping my mouth as I walk back into my bedroom. No point in getting dressed. I’m not planning on going anywhere for the next few days. I just want to surround myself with the memories of momma. Maybe cry some more. The possibilities are endless in grief. I grab my dressing gown and put it on and my fluffy slippers and leave the bedroom.
Holding my bump, I walk down the stairs. Only to stop, the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. There, sitting on the sofa holding a framed photograph of me and momma, is the semem donor. Didn’t take him long to find me. “Why are you here? How did you get in?” I say and he stands, turning to look at me. He has tears streaming down his face. He gently places the photograph on the coffee table. “Courtney, I know you don’t want to see me, but …” I cut him off. “Yet, here you are. Look, you know I want nothing to do with you. Whatever happened to make momma run with me, I’m assuming it is because of you. So please, leave me alone. I can’t deal with this right now.” I say as I try my hardest to look menacing with the way I’m glaring at him. My fists are balled tight at my side. He sighs and looks down, his emotions showing on his face.
I scoff as I walk to the kitchen to make a drink. I had bad morning sickness and couldn’t drink coffee but now it has passed and I can. In moderation, of course, but still. I open the cupboard and freeze seeing momma’s mug that I painted for her when I was five years old. She always drank from it. I reach behind it and grab mine. It says, My World, My daughter, Love Momma. I take it down and softly close the cupboard and start on my drink. I know he is behind me, but I won’t turn or offer him one. I always wanted to know who he was, but here he was in my kitchen and the timing couldn’t have been worse. The way he rode up on his bike with his crew and then expecting me to run into his arms like a cheesy reunion from some kind of soap opera. He deeply hurt momma and in turn me. “Court, please, baby girl. Let me explain.”
I walk round him and back into the living room. I sit down and grab the pillow and place it on my lap. It was momma’s pillow. She loved her scatter cushions and her home comforts. Like throw blankets, deep soft pillows, candles, and pebbles. We would sit on this very sofa in the winter months, in onesies, wrapped up in blankets sitting side by side with our fluffy socked feet on the coffee table, sharing popcorn watching movies. My momma was like my best friend. We would tell each other everything. Well, almost everything, giving the present unwanted guest in my home. “Go on then, explain. Why did my momma run? What did you do to her? Why now?” I fire at him. Momma always said I had a mouth on me and an inquisitive mind. I wanted to know the ins and outs of everything. She was always happy to answer my questions unless it was about her family or where I came from. That was a huge guarded secret, a secret she took to the grave.
Now I’m depressed again. I look away and take a few calming breaths to stop the spiral of my emotions. I’m mad, sad, confused and scared for the answers. “I cheated on your momma. I was drugged. The woman that drugged me is no longer part of the club. When I came too and found you both gone, I knew your momma must have seen what I did. I’m sorry, baby, I was too late to tell her the truth. I have had my club and other clubs looking for you both. Your momma was skilled in hiding.” He says, looking down in shame. My heart freezes in my chest. He cheated on momma? Now I know why she always said to stay away from bikers. Even Kaden did the same thing. “You are all the same. You are so eager to get off it doesn’t matter who gets hurt in the process.” I mumble and he looks at me. “A biker hurt you? I want his name.”
He asks and I don’t answer him. I just sip my coffee. I sigh and just shake my head. “No point. He made his choice. I won’t see him again.” I say and rub my bump. He is watching me. “I’m sorry Courtney, you haven’t had a good impression with bikers. We aren’t all like me and whoever he is. Some are good and some well, are bad. That brings me to why I’m here.” I look up at him and he is looking at me seriously. “Did your momma ever talk about how we met?” he asks and I shake my head because she didn’t say anything about him or her family. “No, why?” I ask seeing him flinch maybe he knows and I will finally be able to learn about what her life was like before I came along. “I met your momma in a diner in a different state. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on.” He smiles and looks wistful. I can see the love shining in his eyes as he speaks. “You look just like her. The only difference is …” “I have your eyes.”
I say, and he chuckles and nods his head. “Yeah, you do. I went back to that diner everyday I was there. I knew then and there she would be my ole lady, my wife. She told me she was running from bad people and with me being a president of a club. It is the code that we help women and children in need. Your momma was scared about who was after her. She told me her family was attacked in the dead of night. Her momma, father and older brother were killed. She ran and never looked back. We married four moths later, and you came along eighteen months later.” He says and I’m leaning forward listening to the story. “She was the most beautiful creature on the planet. Strong, fierce and wouldn’t take anyone’s s**t, mine included. But she had a soft, loving and gentle side to her. Then she walked in or was told about what happened that night. She ran. My world collapsed that day I found you both missing. I thought the people responsible for the deaths of her family had found her and you,” he says, his elbows braced on his knees as he watches me.
“What are you trying to say?” I ask him and he looks at me his jaw is ticking and I know he is angry. “You are in danger, Courtney, you and your child both. I won’t lose you. You are coming with me, you both will be safe, I promise you that,” he says and I look at him as he stands up. I blink at him and start laughing. Is he for real? Does he think I can’t protect myself? I think the bruising to his face should remind him I can, in fact, defend myself. Not to mention the guns I have in the house. “If your job as club president doesn’t pan out, I think you have a promising career in comedy. This is utter nonsense. We are not in danger. Listen to yourself, for god’s sake. If whoever they were had found me and momma, we would be dead by now. That is, if anything you have said is true. You are only here to try to get me to come with you. I wasn’t born yesterday, wait you already know that.” I laugh as I struggle to stand. He moves to help me, but I straighten up before he can.
“Courtney, I am being serious. Why do you think you and your momma moved so much? She knew they would be looking for her. Without the protection from the club, she and you were both vulnerable.” He says as the front door opens and three huge men step inside. They all nod at my dad before they smile at me. “You are coming with me, even if it is until we figure out who it was. Please darlin, I can’t lose my daughter or grandchild. Your momma would understand.” “You have had twenty years to find out the truth, and you are no closer to it. Look, I can pack up and leave. Whoever they are will never find me.” I say more to myself than him and he sighs, stepping forward. He reaches for me and I flinch away. He doesn’t stop there. He rubs his thumb under my eye. “They will know who you are. What you look like.
How do you think I found you? Your details were easy to find from the death register database. One search of your momma’s name and we found out everything about you. We don’t know who they are. But.” I raise an eyebrow at him. Waiting for him to continue. “Have you ever heard of the Devil’s Warriors?” He asks and I look at him confused. “Pretend I don’t. Who are they?” I sass back. See, my mouth gets me into a lot of s**t. “They are the biggest MC in the world. Word on the street is their club president was looking for your momma. We don’t know why. We believe whoever killed her family had requested help from them. This is serious, Courtney.” He is trying to scare me and it’s working. I rub my bump and look down, thinking about what he has told me.
Who ever was after momma is after me too. I could fight my way out, but I can’t risk getting hurt while I’m pregnant. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to my bean, especially if I can prevent it. I sigh, looking up at him. “I suppose it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t. Fine, I will come with you, but you have four months to find whoever they are. Then I leave.” I say to him and he smiles and nods his head. “Ok, boys, help her pack and load her up,” he says and I sigh. Momma, what did you get involved with? Courtney POV I pack my clothes, toiletries, and things I will need to stay where ever I will be. “Is there anything else you need, darlin?” One of the men called Snake asks as he zips up the third suitcase. I look around my bedroom and sigh. I grab my pillow and leave the room. Walking back down stairs dad is on the phone, and I sit down on the sofa. I type an email to work and tell them I will be working from home for the foreseeable.
I don’t think the club will allow me to leave. I’m an artist. My designs have been used worldwide for various things, from signage, to decals for cars and bikes, to book covers. I need my iPad and laptop. I can’t just do nothing while I’m imprisoned. So may as well make money. Momma bought the house and so I don’t have to worry about that. The door bell rings and the men all drawn their guns and I sigh as I stand again when my dad grabs my arm and shakes his head no. “Courtney darling, are you ok?” I sigh and look at him and roll my eyes. “One minute Mrs Johnson.” I look at my dad, and he nods his head once as I move and open the door. “Oh Courtney dear, are you ok?” she asks as she looks around me and into the living room. “Oh hi Mrs Johnson, what can I help you with?” I say to her and she looks sadly at me and pulls me into a hug. My arms are at my side. I slowly hug her back. “Everything will be ok, sweetheart. I know she loved you very much.
You could see it whenever you were both together. If you need anything, call me.” I nod my head. I won’t I don’t even have her number or need her being a nosey prick. “Thanks, look I have to go. I have a lot to sort out. Have a nice day.” I say as I prepare to close the door. “Are you in some sort of trouble?” I stop closing the door and look at her and she smirks, looking at the bikes. “No, those belong to long-time friends of my momma. They are here to …” Why am I explaining to this nosey old bat? “Never mind, I have to go. Take care, bye Mrs Johnson.” I shut the door and see my dad and the guys looking and me in different stages of amusement. I groan and move away from the door. “She seems nice.” Dad says and I just give him a pointed look. “She is a nosey ole biddy who has nothing better to do than gossip. Momma was always nice to her, but me, not so much.” I say, and Snake chuckles. “Ruthless.” He says as he hands my suitcases to the other two.
One is called Storm, and the other is called Dagger. Where do they come up with these names? I learnt my dad is called Hunter Wolf Harrison. Morrison was my momma’s maiden name. His club is called the Devil’s Army. Why are all the names associated in some way or other to the Devil? I suppose it makes them sound scary. “Ok you ready to go?” Dad asks me. I’m not ready, but I suppose I have to be now more than ever until he finds out who these people are. And why they have recruited the help of the Devil’s Warriors. I leave the house and walk to the garage with my momma’s keys in my hand. I open the garage and walk to her baby. Her Ford Ranger Raptor. Momma loves big American trucks, whereas me, I like the classic American muscle cars, the Dodge Challenger. You can never go wrong with a bit of American muscle. I hit the fob and the Raptor beeps. I move to the trunk and open it up and the men place my things inside. A low whistle makes me turn my head as Storm runs his hand up over the smooth, sleek lines of my car. “Now that right there is a work of art.” He says and I smile at him and walk closer to him. “Yeah, she is. She is my baby.
The first car I bought with my first paycheck. She didn’t look like this when I got her. I worked long and hard getting her to this stage. Complete overhaul with her body, chassis, and engine.” I say to him and he looks at me and blinks rapidly. “Wait, you built her from the bare bones?” He asks in awe, and I smile and nod my head. “Sure did. Momma always said I’m not just a pretty face, even when it was covered in grease and oil.” I say, and he smiles at me and winks at me. I don’t feel uncomfortable with him or any of them. “I dismantled my first engine when I was seven years old and put it back together. Momma taught me that, too.” I say remembering the memory of us both sitting on the dirt covered ground both in dirty dungarees grease on our hands and faces as we both dismantled it together so she could teach me. Her long red wavy hair was in a loose, messy bun on top of her head. Her gold chain around her neck with the wedding ring inside her white vest top.
“Will she stay here?” Storm asks me, and I know why they call him Storm. He has blonde hair and silver eyes. I nod my head. “She will, until the danger has passed, then I will come back for her.” I say and I pat the roof of her and walk towards momma’s truck and climb in to the driver’s seat. Storm helps buckle me up even though I can do it myself and he shuts the door. He steps back and directs me to reverse out of the garage. Once a distance away, I press the fob to close the garage. I look at the house and sigh. I will be back soon, hopefully before my bean is born. I reverse onto the street and my dad is on his bike in front of me, Storm on my left, Snake on the right, and Dagger behind me. I follow my dad. I turn on the stereo and sing along to the music that is playing Post Malone and Morgan Wallen. I Had Some Help. Momma and I love Morgan Wallen and Post Malone. I sing to the lyrics, tapping my hands on the steering wheel, and can see my momma as we both sing and bum shuffle in our seats, doing little dances. I smile. So many happy memories with her.
The sun is bright in the sky as I follow behind my dad. I sing loudly and nod my head along to the song, shrugging my shoulders. I turn my head and see Storm watching me. He is waving his hands in the air as he rides, and I chuckle at him. He is crazy. I look to the right and see Snake doing the Vogue moves by his face. Nutters. After four days of driving, sleeping in crappy motels, and eating junk food. We finally pull into what looks like a parking lot with bikes parked up front. There is a working garage. Men and women are either working or lazing around. I park the truck and shut off the engine. My heart is beating loudly as I look at the building. The men and woman all stand and look towards the truck. I gulp. Not liking this one bit. My dad walks to my side and opens the door. “Welcome home, princess.” He says and I look at him and then back at the growing crowd. He offers me his hand, and I ignore it and climb down by myself.
My hand goes to my bump, and he walks with me side by side. I look at the people here and I can hear whispers. “She looks like Caitlyn.” “He found her. The crazy prick found her.” I walk through the doors and there are a lot of people here. Men and woman all drinking and having a good time. “Listen up everyone. This is my daughter Courtney Nevaeh Morrison. She is the rightful princess of this club. You will all show her respect. Today is still a day of mourning, but also a day of celebration. We will remember Caitlyn and we will celebrate the return of our daughter. Your princess. CHEERS!” my dad shouts and the room erupts in cheers.
I was not expecting this. People come and offer me their condolences and the ole ladies hug me and compliment me on my beauty. The party is in full swing and I’m so overwhelmed. They all seem like nice people, even dad. The club house doors open and I hear it, the voice I never will forget. “DADDY!” I see her as she runs on sky high heels towards … My dad. Oh, no! she isn’t, no chance. That hoe is my … I throw up a little. She is my sister?! I stiffen as she hugs him and a man hugs her. But it’s not her I’m looking at. It’s the man who is stuck in a trance, looking from my eyes to my bump. The one I thought loved me the same way I loved him. Kaden Venom Frost, my ex.