Damaged Novel – I’m Shadow’s Old Lady. He told me he loved me but it didn’t change the fact that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. Jade walked towards the groom Viper and me with Shadow on her arm. She looked very beautiful in her pure white wedding dress. I admitted I was jealous. Shadow’s eyes were locked on me. I know he saw the pained expression on my face but he ignored it. I felt my heart broken. As he stopped before us, he released his hold on Jade’s hand, passing her to Viper. “Why don’t we let the newlyweds have some time to themselves?” I tried to pull Shadow away, but he stood firm, not budging. This is how it always is. When Jade is present, I become invisible to Shadow!
Paige I sit on the sofa, staring at the wall, unmoving. Today is the day I have been waiting for impatiently, and yet I’m sitting here feeling like my world is coming to an end. The reason is simple and no matter how much I try to deny it, the truth is I know what I will witness today. I can already picture Jade walking down the aisle, her arm linked with Shadow’s. His eyes will be filled with so much emotion – love and happiness mixed with pain and despair. Today, Jade will become Viper’s wife. It should bring me some relief in knowing that, but it doesn’t. I’ve seen the two of them together and even a complete stranger can tell that the two are madly in love, but it doesn’t change the fact that Shadow is still in love with her. What does she have that I don’t? It’s the same question I ask myself day in and day out. The answer is perfectly clear. She is everything I’m not. She’s gorgeous, with her long almost raven colored hair that falls in soft curls to frame her flawless face. Having two children has done nothing to her figure. From the photographs I’ve seen, she’s just as fit as she was back when she and Shadow were growing up. I’m not saying I’m unattractive, quite the opposite actually.
I know I am pretty, but I will never be on the pedestal Shadow, Viper and every other man in the club has put Jade on. And it pisses me off! Shadow Jade Moore, the woman I fell in love with so many years ago. The one person in this world I never imagined I would lose. I have always depended on her ever since I met her the very first day I arrived at this compound. She became not only my best friend, but over the years I fell in love with her. She consumes my thoughts and is someone I cannot live without. I need her to be a part of my life. I can still picture her running around this very same yard, her dark brown hair pulled up in pigtails. She was perfect, even back then. I smile broadly as I think back to those days. There is barely a memorable moment in my life that she hasn’t been a part of. Part of me feels like this day will put an end to all of that. Not so long ago, I had imagined this very moment. The day that I would see her dressed in all white, walking down the aisle. Only in my dreams, I was the one waiting at the altar, not the person giving her away.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt that she is marrying Viper and not me. It’s not that Viper’s a bad man. In fact, he’s a great guy and he loves Jade with every fiber of his being. It doesn’t make this day any easier though. You were the one who wanted this, I remind myself. I was the one to end our relationship, to let her go. I know it was the right decision for her and for me too, even though it doesn’t look that way now. She is happier with Viper than she ever was with me, and he loves her more than anything. This is her fairy tale ending and no one deserves it more than her. And by letting Jade go, I met Paige. She was there for me that very first night when I said my parting words to Jade and she began filling the void in my heart that Jade had left. I had been torn when we first got together, afraid that she was nothing more than a rebound intercourse. In the beginning she had been just that, but over time I started to develop feelings for her. What those feelings are exactly I’m not sure, but I hope she is more than a temporary thing in my life. Making my way inside and then upstairs, I pause outside of Jade’s old room. This is it. I am about to say goodbye to the love of my life forever, at least in the romantic sense. I just hope that I’m not going to lose the best friend I have come to depend on over the years.
Taking in a deep breath, I quickly knock on the door before I enter the room, my eyes landing on the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. She looks exactly as I pictured her in my dreams. “You look gorgeous,” I tell her, taking in the sight of her looking even more perfect than I thought was possible. “Thank you,” she whispers, looking down to hide the blush that creeps up her cheeks. “I always envisioned what you would look like on your wedding day. I just never imagined I would be the one giving you away,” I say smiling down at her. “Shadow, don’t…” I know what she’s thinking, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Seeing her this way, I feel confident that my decision was the right one. Gone is any regret I previously had. My heart swells for her. This is her day and she looks like a princess. “Everyone’s waiting for the bride. You ready to do this?” I ask, seeing the nervousness in her posture. I know she’s not nervous about marrying Viper, but she is uneasy about the ceremony. She’s been fretting over it for weeks. “I’ve never been more ready in my life,” she says smiling up at me. Grasping her hand in mine, I lead her out of the room and down the stairs to where her destiny awaits.
Gazing across the yard , my eyes land on her immediately. Her gaze is locked on me as I hold Jade in my arms. I try to silently reassure her, but I know it’s no use. She doesn’t get it and maybe she never will. Meeting Paige was a godsend. When we were introduced, I was instantly attracted to her physically. I quickly learned that she is a beautiful person, both inside and out. Her heart is immense and she has taken to both Bethany and I as if we have always been in her life. The biggest issue is and always will be Jade. Don’t get me wrong, Paige likes Jade. They were friends before Paige and I ever met, but she cannot understand the friendship Jade and I share. I see the jealousy in her eyes when I am with Jade, and I don’t want to hurt her, but Jade is someone I will never let go of. Not even for her. That may make me a cold hearted jerk, but I’ve been called worse. Paige Shadow’s eyes are locked on me. I know he sees the pained expression on my face as he walks hand in hand with her.
I have done my best at hiding the hurt, but I know he sees right through it. He’s not even sympathetic towards me. He feels I should get over it, which is easy for him to say. If the tables were turned, he would feel differently. As he stops in front of us, he releases his hold on Jade’s hand, passing her to Viper. He comes to stand beside me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. Instantly I am flooded with relief. “You OK, angel?” “Yeah, I’m good,” I say, smiling up at him. “Why don’t we let the newlyweds have some time to themselves?” I try to pull him away, but he stands firm, not budging. I stand by, saying nothing, as the three of them talk as if I don’t exist. This is how it always is. When Jade is present, I become invisible!