The Barren Luna Novel – “Ginny, we need to talk.” Henry talks to me. “It’s time for dinner, shall we talk after that?”
“I had a meeting with the Elders today and we agreed that I would take a concubine to breed.” “What? But we’re mates.”
“It’s been four years, Ginny. We tried all of the treatments. The pack needs an heir. You know this is our duty.”
“Henry… You are aware that this arrangement will be painful for me?”
“Do your part and I’ll do mine. For the pack. Don’t make this more difficult than it is.”
Ginny
The pack has been blessed by a new pup, and as the Alpha and Luna, Henry and I needed to go to the hospital to visit the new mother and bless the newest member of our pack. It used to be my favorite Luna duty and yet now, four years into our pupless union, it has become a painful and uncomfortable experience for everyone involved.
My mate would be standing there looking frustrated and angry, I would be clenching my jaw, trying not to sob while smelling the pup, and the new parents would alternate between fear, pity, and saying mindless empty phrases such as: “May you be blessed next!” or “May you also experience joy like this soon!”
The pity was the worst. The condescending well-wishing was a close second.
I’d met Henry when I was 20 years old, when he came to our pack with his father on official business; I’d come to the Alpha’s office to bring some files that my dad, the gamma of the pack, had left at home, and it was instant fireworks for the two of us. Our wolves went crazy over each other, and we both followed very soon. I packed my things and I was in Spruce Mountain with him not even a week later, marked and mated. He was the only male I’d ever been with, and it still stung a bit that he hadn’t waited for me, although everyone explained it away by saying that he was an Alpha and thus had appetites larger than regular wolves.
I sighed and started getting dressed. I chose a dark blue conservative dress that I often wore for official visits and pack functions. It was one step away from black so I could still express my mood without disrespecting the happy new parents. I honestly wouldn’t have minded not having pups if I had been mated to a lower-ranked wolf – I could see myself accepting my destiny, overcoming that hardship with my mate, and living our life within the limitations our bodies had. But not in this instance; now this one thing was infesting and eating away at everything else. Henry and I barely talked anymore. All we did was try to breed. And that is truly what it was – forced breeding. The pack doctors and healers kept feeding me a mixture of herbs that would increase my fertility, and they advised Henry to remark me immediately after one heat cycle ended in order to induce another one, which resulted in me having heats every two months for the last year and a half. It was exhausting and humiliating and fruitless.
Punctual as always, the car picked me up in front of our house for the short drive to the hospital, during which Henry and I exchanged exactly zero words. The silence between us would probably have bothered me a year ago, but now I pretended to look out the window while he caught up on paperwork.
While Henry kept wounding my feelings with his militant insistence on breeding, I also understood his position in a weird way – he was under pressure as the leader of the pack, and he probably also felt like less of a male at times, although he would never admit to it. I just hated how everyone else had a say over our mating and future, but I guess that was a part of being pack leadership.
We exited the car at the same time, and then my mate came over and held my hand. Although I knew it was for show, I still let myself enjoy the warmth and tiny sparks that accompanied it.
The hospital room was filled with flowers and balloons, and various pink items. The tiny bundle in the new mother’s arms released some of the loudest wails I’d ever heard and I couldn’t help but smile at her, which was immediately wiped off my face when I saw how the mother’s shoulders relaxed. Did people think I hated them for having pups? My mate certainly seemed like he did. I squeezed his hand in warning and he ironed out his frown.
“What a blessed occasion this is,” he said in his deep baritone to the beaming parents.
“Welcome Alpha, Luna, it is an honor,” the father responded, baring his neck slightly in submission.
“And who is this wonderful little female?” I asked in the gentlest tone I could muster, not approaching the new mother just yet, waiting for her signal, recognizing how charged this situation might be for her wolf.
“This is Ileana,” the proud mother said, holding the pup out slightly to indicate it was fine to touch her. I approached and took in her scent – it was lovely, a mixture of new life and wolf, smelling faintly of blueberries.
“May she live a long and happy and blessed life with her family,” I said while putting my hand on her head, feeling just a tiny pang of envy, not at the pup they were blessed with, but at the adoring gaze the male was directing at his mate. As if she had hung the stars and the moon, as if she was all that mattered in their universe. When was the last time Henry had looked at me like that? Clench. Stop it! I ran my tongue over my teeth.
“Isn’t she adorable, Henry?”
“She is indeed, my Luna. May she be blessed and long-lived.” He also touched the pup briefly.
“Well, we’ll let you all rest, I’m sure you need it,” I smiled my best smile at them, the one I put on in all the official photos, and in a matter of seconds, we were out of there.
“That went well, don’t you think?” I didn’t know why I attempted making conversation with him, but I needed some sort of reassurance after the visit.
“Mhm,” he hummed noncommittally.
“Are you going back to the office or are you coming home for lunch?”
“Office. I’ll be home for dinner. I have a meeting with the Elders immediately after lunch.”
“Oh. I’ll drop by to see Lucy then. See you at dinner.”
He gave me a peck on the cheek and left.
I walked over to Lucy and Calum’s house feeling dejected. I found myself coveting what that couple had, the closeness, the love, and it did not sit right with my wolf. She knew she was hierarchically above them, so she resented that I was feeling inferior to them. Like I said, things were much simpler for her. She actually wanted to go back to the hospital and make them submit to us to make me feel better, and I found it endearing. Although I had to hold her back a lot of the time in order to keep peace as the Luna, she was the better part of me. She never let me doubt myself or talk down to myself, which helped keep my sanity during this ordeal.
“Ginny! What are you doing here?” Lucy hugged me after opening the door.
“The Tomlinsons had their pup so we went to visit them,” I explained and she winced slightly.
“How was it?”
“Eh, not great not awful. Please, let’s talk about something else. How are you?” I smiled at her and she gave me a wide grin back. She was my best friend in this pack, and our Beta’s mate.
“Is Calum staying for the meeting with the Elders?”
“I honestly have no idea. I didn’t even know they had one today. I thought it was scheduled for the end of the month?”
I frowned and thought back on Henry’s monthly agenda. She was right.
“Well it must have been moved, because Henry just told me about it a minute before I walked over here. Oh well. I have to go soon, since I still have to go to the market before I get dinner started.”
Then I go to buy some vegetables on the market and return home.
I got so absorbed in the dinner making that I lost track of time and before I knew it, I heard Henry coming home. I quickly put a pot of water on the stove for the pasta before washing my hands and going to the hall to greet him.
“You smell like onions,” he remarked when I approached.
“I made ragù for dinner,” I said, choosing to ignore whatever that was.
“I’ll change and be downstairs in ten.”
“Okay.”
The fettucine only needed five minutes anyway, so I set the table and plated our food just as he arrived in the kitchen. We had a big dining room that we only used when we had guests over, but the two of us always ate in the kitchen when we ate at home. Henry sat down and stared at his plate, deep in thought. Before I could ask what was wrong with the food, he sighed and finally looked at me.
“I had a meeting with the Elders today and we agreed that I would take a concubine to breed.”
Of all the possible sentences that I thought my mate would utter at this moment, this one never would have occurred to me. I must have looked completely gobsmacked because he continued clarifying.
“It’s been four years, Ginny. We tried all of the treatments and you know as well as I do nothing is working. The pack needs an heir. Without one we’re vulnerable to outside attacks and hostile takeovers. You know this is our duty.”
I still said nothing. I was still processing the first part of his speech. They had agreed. A concubine. Breeding.
“They will choose an unmated female this week and then they will induce her heat. This will be repeated for three heat cycles. It is a political arrangement, nothing more. It is my duty.”
I swallowed.
“Henry… You are aware that this arrangement will be painful for me? Physically? We are marked and mated, for heaven’s sake!”
He looked at me in annoyance, frustrated.
“The Elders agreed it would be best if the pack doctors sedated you – you’ll have the choice between taking wolfsbane to temporarily disable your wolf, or poppy seeds to put you to sleep. I will also be given a drop of wolfsbane to get my wolf to cooperate. I am not happy about this either, make no mistake.”
“I’m glad the Elders thought of everything,” I spat bitterly and he shot me a warning glare.
“Don’t be difficult, Regina. Do your part and I’ll do mine. For the pack. Don’t make this more difficult than it is.”
I just looked at him for a moment, stunned.
“Very well, Alpha,” I said, because I knew there would be no further discussion on the matter.