Always In My Heart Novel – Positive My hands started to shake with the test in my hand. I’m pregnant and I’m only seventeen years old, this cannot be happening. My legs gave way below me as a slid down the wall bringing my knees up to my chest and I started sobbing. My best friend, Lorie, knocked on the door asking if everything was alright. “Addison, is everything okay in there?” I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me, nothing is okay. Noah oh gosh, Noah- what if he starts to hate me? What if he doesn’t want this baby? I refuse to have an abortion, it’s my fault this little life was created and I need to step up to the responsibilities- not kill it like it was nothing. “I’m coming in,” Lorie told me as she opened the door, she froze at the scene before her “is that what I think it is?” she asked pointed to the pregnancy test on the floor.
I nodded wrapping my arms around my knees to keep them close. “Oh Addison, everything is going to be okay,” she cooed “you’ve got Noah; he’ll know what to do okay?” I nodded “I’m not going to kill my baby Lorie,” I said numbly. She wrapped her arms around me, “I know that Ads, just talk to Noah, he’ll know what to do.” I nodded again and got up to sort myself out, my mascara was smudged and my eyes were rimmed with redness, Lorie said she would give me a ride to Noah’s house, on the way there I couldn’t help but wonder what his reaction would be? Noah and I have been together since we were fifteen, two years. Before that we were the best of friends, I love him, yes. And he loves me. I just hope he’ll stand by me and respect my decision; I couldn’t live in a world knowing that my baby is out there somewhere, being raised by total strangers.
Before I knew it we were parked outside Noah’s house, I bid my goodbyes to Lorie and promising to text her if I needed a lift home. I stood on Noah’s porch for five minutes before I went inside. Drawing in a big breath I braced myself and turned the door handle, I hadn’t knock on his door since we were kids as I was ‘always welcome’. Walking up to his room I noticed it was quite, only Noah and his brother’s car on the driveway, I knocked a few times but I got no answer. I could hear the music playing from out in the hallway so I turned the doorknob and went inside. My jaw dropped and tears immediately fell from my eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing; my boyfriend having intercourse with someone who wasn’t me. He noticed me with his eyes wide, and quickly got of the girl and came over to me. He took a step towards me and I took a step back.
“Addie, it’s not what it looks like,” he told me as he pulled on some sweatpants. The girl on the bed was sitting there watching the scene unfold before her eyes, that’s when I noticed her. Alana Cassie. The queen bimbo since kindergarten. “Addie, I’m sorry I promise it’s not what it looks like,” he pleaded using my childhood nickname again. “It’s exactly what it looks like,” Alana sneered. I opened my mouth but no words were formed, I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, I wanted to hit him. But I couldn’t, it was like I was frozen in place. I had to get out of there. I turned on my heel and ran out of the house. I couldn’t believe he would do that. I couldn’t have my baby growing up in a world like that.
So I did what I had to do, I had to leave. I couldn’t face the humiliation of the town knowing that I was the knocked up girl who got cheated on and thrown to the side. I couldn’t let my baby live in a world like that. I called Lorie asking her to pick me up from the local park, when she got there I cried on her shoulder and told her the story. To say she was angry was an understatement, I’ve never seen Lorie like this before, and when she asked what I was going to do, I simply replied- “I have to leave.” After many objections, Lorie finally agreed to help me. And that was the day I left; the day I left my childhood behind; the day I had my heartbroken. I woke up to giggling and the sound of high pitched voices; my daily routine. I pretended to be asleep for a few minutes so I could hear their sweet voices a little longer. “Mason, don’t! Momma doesn’t like it when we draw on her face,” Madison warned her brother. Okay time to get up, I stifled a big yawn before looking over at my two angels.
Mason James and Madison Grace; my two little babies, well they’re not exactly babies anymore. They both had chocolate brown hair, identical to their fathers and their bright green eyes also identical to his. “Good morning my angels,” I greeted them giving them a big peck on the cheek. “Momma, you can’t peck me no more. It’s my girlfriend’s job now,” Mason told me as he attempted to wipe my peck off his cheek. I laughed at my little womanizer as I ruffled his hair, “what about you Mads? No boyfriends?” She giggled “ew no momma, boys are gross!” pointing at Mason. Sighing happily I couldn’t help but think about how far I’ve come, it’s been five years since I left Louisiana and headed to Georgia; five years since I had my heartbroken. Noah doesn’t know about the twins, the only people who know of their existence are my mom, my dad, my brothers and sister.
Oh and let’s not forget Lorie. After 5 years she’s still my best friend, she stuck with me throughout the whole pregnancy especially when I found out I was having twins. I went from having a rubbish little coffee shop job and a flat to working as a teacher for the local elementary school and having my very own house. I’ve done better than most twenty-one year olds plus having two five year olds to raise as well. “Who wants pancakes?” I asked the twins. Their faces lit up at the mention of pancakes. “Me! I do momma,” they both screamed. “Last ones there is a rotten egg,” I challenged as we all raced towards our kitchen. After making the kids there pancakes and getting them ready, we headed off to school. Mason and Madison boy attend the school where I teach so it’s easier for me.
The day passed fairly quickly, I sent my daily pictures of the twins to my mom, my dad, my brothers, and my sister and too Lorie. This is the one promise I made when I moved away, I promised I would send them daily updates of my baby- well babies. Mason, Madison and I were all sitting in the family room watching reruns of the shows the kids like to watch when the doorbell rang. It was a bit weird because no-one ever came round unless I knew about it. It’s not that I’m anti-social; it’s just that I didn’t really have time to socialize and make friends whilst raising the kids. When I answered the door I came face to face with 3 blonde mops of hair; Benny, Matt and Millie, my siblings, I was shocked to say the least. I don’t see my family much.
I squealed in delight and hugged all of my siblings inviting them in. “Kids, your auntie and uncles are here!” I yelled from the hallway “what are you guys doing here?” “Well, little Miss prissy over here needs to talk to you so we thought what they hey? Let’s go visit our baby sister,” Matt said bringing me in for another hug. I was about to answer when two little voices screamed, “Auntie Millie, Uncle Benny, Uncle Dave! Look momma it’s them!” Madison told me as she rushed into Benny’s arms while Mason rushed to Millies arms. “Hey no love for Uncle Matt?” Matt teased as he brought them both in for a hug.
Mason and Madison loved their uncles and aunt, it’s my fault that they don’t see each other often, I haven’t gone back to Louisiana- not even for a visit since I left and I don’t plan to either. I wish I could go back so I could see all my family together at once, but I couldn’t risk bumping into him, or the chance of him seeing the twins; he broke my heart, he isn’t going to do the same to them. I haven’t heard from him since the day I left, I changed my number and my family swear to secrecy not to tell him where I was. “So how about Benny and I take these little rascals out for some ice-cream while you two have your ‘girly time.’” he said making a face at the word girly time. I nodded “okay, just let me get these ready.”