Be My Own Star Novel – When the landslide struck, Ethan instantly threw himself over Vanessa, shielding her with his body. Meanwhile, I, sitting in the backseat, was violently thrown forward by the impact, and a steel rod pierced through my left leg. The pain was excruciating, and I knew the injury might be permanent. When the rescue team arrived, they could only take one person. Ethan glanced at me, then back at Vanessa, his expression calm. “You’re too badly injured. I can’t take care of you. Wait for the medical team.” Without hesitation, he carried the unscathed Vanessa onto the helicopter, leaving me, severely injured, behind amidst the wreckage. Later, when I woke up in the hospital, I saw Vanessa’s post on social media: “Thank you, my hero, for always being there when I need you most!” Everyone waited for my response. I simply replied, “You two are a perfect match. Can’t wait for your wedding.”
It’s been seven days since I woke up in the hospital, with no one by my side except the nurse. Thinking about the fiancé who had left me behind, My eyes darkened a bit. I grabbed my phone, which had run out of battery, borrowed a charger, and turned it on. There was no message from Ethan. Just as I was about to turn it off, I saw Ethan’s name flashing on the screen. As soon as I answered, his accusatory voice pierced through: “Claire, what are you trying to pull now? In that situation, Vanessa has a heart condition, what was wrong with me taking her away? We were already rescued, there was going to be a second team of rescuers. Why didn’t you just follow them back? I had to leave because I had a billion-dollar project at the company. Your job doesn’t pay much, so what are you so upset about? You haven’t answered my calls for days!”
I listened calmly as he poured out his frustrations, there wasn’t a hint of concern in his voice, only accusations, every word was talking down to me while defending Vanessa. When he finally finished pouring, I hoarsely said, “I’m in the hospital…” But before I could finish, he interrupted: “Claire, can you stop using such pathetic tricks to get my attention? Always trying to get the attention, you’re disgusting. You’re doing this because you never believed that Vanessa and I were innocent, right? Why is your mind so nasty? No wonder Vanessa always says you’re full of schemes.”
Then he hung up. When I called him back, I found out that he had blocked me. I laughed at myself and found a caregiver. I wasn’t going to neglect my health just because Ethan wasn’t worth it. I stayed in the hospital for 20 days. During that time, Ethan didn’t call me even once. I had surgery to remove the steel rod from my leg. Although I might have a slight limp, my leg was saved, and for that, I was grateful. After these things happened, I decided to start loving myself more. 20 days later, I was discharged from the hospital, but unexpectedly, I received a call from Ethan. When I answered, he asked, “Claire, have you reflected on what you did wrong?” “Why should I reflect?” I replied coldly. Ethan was taken aback by my tone, then softened his voice: “We are the ones in a relationship. Vanessa and I have always been innocent, but you always make a fuss. That was a landslide, and she was so scared, plus she had a heart condition. I just hoped you’d be more understanding.” The more he spoke, the more justified he sounded, perhaps even convincing himself.
He then said, “I know I was wrong to leave you behind that day. I’ve booked a restaurant. Let me take you out to dinner?” His tone wasn’t particularly sincere, but after being with him for so many years, I knew this was his way of making amends. But after experiencing the moment of death and leaving me at that moment by him, I no longer had any hope for Ethan. During my hospital stay, I reflected on my past with Ethan and realized that when you invest too much in a relationship, you become afraid of losing it, and end up becoming excessively submissive. I had spoiled Ethan too much, letting him punish me whenever he wanted, and making me suffer whenever he wished. In the past, whenever he offered a vague reconciliation, I would immediately take the opportunity to make up with him, ignoring the real issues between us.
That’s why his friends never thought highly of me, seeing me as nothing more than a pushover. And they were right—if I weren’t such a pushover, how could Ethan treat me with such disregard? When he suggested dinner, I suddenly felt a sense of peace and said, “Come pick me up from the hospital.” He seemed to freeze, probably remembering the time he accused me of using underhanded tactics to get his attention, never expecting that I was truly in the hospital. He insisted on coming to pick me up with a gentle tone. But I waited for a long time until it got so late. I eventually took a cab home, ate takeout, and never saw any sign of Ethan. I packed up my things with my injured leg. I saw that Vanessa had posted a picture of a candlelit dinner: “I knew you’d always be there when I needed you.” Looking at the seemingly romantic picture, I suddenly felt a sense of release. In Ethan’s heart, I would never compare to Vanessa. As long as Vanessa was around, I would always be the one left behind. I went from being mad every time that happened, until now, making a scene to accepting it as normal. After experiencing the moment of death, I suddenly felt it was all so meaningless.
Why should I, in the prime of my life, let a man decide my fate? I packed my things, lay down in the guest room, and received a message from my mentor. “This project is perfect for you. You’ve worked as a field doctor before, so you have the experience and calmness to handle emergencies. We’re really looking forward to you joining us, but we also know about your relationship with your fiancé, so we want you to think it over carefully.” I didn’t hesitate and replied, “No need to think, I’m in.” My mentor immediately called me, “It’s great that you’ve come around. Our team really needs you. If you do well, you’ll be contributing to the country.” “Thank you. Don’t worry,” I could hear his genuine happiness for me. I didn’t plan to tell Ethan about my decision to join my mentor’ project. After hanging up with my mentor, he sent me a bunch of recent related materials. The more I read, the more shocked I was by how quickly the data had been updated in the time I was away.
Yet, all I had focused on was Ethan. I had been busy revolving around him, taking care of his every need, even cooking for him, but in his eyes, I was still not able to compare to Vanessa, and he considered me useless. I decided to spend the little time I had left reinforcing my expertise. Fortunately, although my current job was relatively easy, I hadn’t neglected my profession, otherwise, I wouldn’t have dared to take on such a big project. Realizing this made me break out in a cold sweat. I was really afraid that I would waste my life waiting for Ethan’s mercy, leading to an unhappy end. The sound of the door opening interrupted my thoughts; I knew it was Ethan returning. But I didn’t want to talk to him, so I pretended not to hear.
But then I heard him go to the bedroom, followed by loud knocking on the guest room door: “Claire, I know you’re in there.” I limped over to open the door. He wanted to blame me, but when he saw my leg, he suddenly felt guilty: “When did you get back? Why didn’t you answer my calls?” “Phone was on silent,” I glanced at my phone and replied casually. Ethan looked at me, then suddenly asked, “Do you know how worried I was?” “But I came back by myself, didn’t I? I can’t always wait for you to pick me up, right?” I ignored Ethan’s frustration and responded calmly. He was taken aback by my words, then he looked at my leg: “How’s your leg doing?” “Thanks to the quick arrival of the rescue helicopter, otherwise, I might have had to amputate,” I smiled indifferently. I had already felt the pain when it was most intense. He looked ashamed: “That day, the situation was urgent. Vanessa has a heart condition, so I took her away first. If I had known how serious your injury was, I wouldn’t have…” “I understand. Do you have anything else to say?” I interrupted his apology.
My time is so precious now, and I don’t want to waste it listening to his endless self-recrimination. Actions always speak louder than words. Because I knew deep down that even if he had seen the extent of my injury that day, he would have still chosen to take Vanessa. But he was unsatisfied with my words and tried to argue: “I know you’re angry, but she does have a genetic condition. Can you stop being so passive-aggressive?” “I’m not being passive-aggressive. I’m a doctor too, so of course, I understand how easily her congenital condition can relapse. That’s why I didn’t blame you; I fully understand,” I interrupted his assumptions. Communicating with him was exhausting. Seeing that he still wanted to say more, I added: “I know you and she had nothing going on. If you wanted to be together, you would’ve done so long ago.”
Cutting off his arguments, I sent him on his way. “I’m not used to having someone around right now. I’m inconvenienced, so I’ll continue to sleep in the guest room for now.” After saying that, I didn’t care about Ethan’s reaction and pushed him out of the room. He tried to help me because I was limping, but I brushed him off. Then I closed the door in his disbelieving face. After a while, I heard him muttering outside. Though the voice was low, I could still imagine. I had never defied him like this before. He’d never experienced this kind of humiliation, so of course, he was grumbling. In the past, his emotions would have affected my every nerve, but now they had nothing to do with me. Surprisingly, I felt an unprecedented sense of relief.
Early the next morning, the guest room door was suddenly flung open. I saw Vanessa, dressed up, pulling off my blanket: “Claire, why are you still lying in bed? I heard you got sick because didn’t take you with him, and you’ve been angry with him. I came here specifically to explain things to him, but you’re so rude, still sleeping like this? I even bought you some stuff!” I sat on the bed, staring at her without moving. She looked at Ethan with a grievance, as if she had been mistreated. Ethan couldn’t bear it and immediately comforted her: “Don’t think that way. Claire is just recovering from an injury. She’s still a patient. Otherwise, she’d never treat you poorly, right?” Vanessa pouted, as if she had just been coaxed, and said: “Alright, I just felt like I was already lowering myself enough. And we didn’t do it on purpose. My heart condition is really serious. It was an emergency at the time, so it was hard for you to make a decision.”
As she spoke, she even seemed like she was about to cry. Ethan immediately felt sorry for her, consoling: “I know, it wasn’t your fault. The situation was too urgent.” I watched the two of them, oblivious to everything around them, without saying a word. I suddenly remembered that the landslide shouldn’t have happened. Ethan had said it was our four-year anniversary and that he wanted to celebrate with me, take me on a trip, just the two of us. He seemed genuinely excited, talking about how beautiful the tulip flowers were at the destination. But just before we left, Vanessa found out. She said he’d never taken her to see the tulip flowers. Ethan was torn because he had already promised me a trip for just the two of us, but he still wanted to consult my opinion.
But Vanessa dispelled his doubts with just one sentence: “E, I know this is really presumptuous of me, and I don’t have long to live. If it’s inconvenient for you, just forget it.” Right in front of me, Ethan said, “I’ll come to pick you up.” Our romantic getaway turned into a trip for three. The biggest difference between Vanessa and me was that whenever she was around, I would always be the tag-along. I took their pictures, followed them around, and didn’t even sit next to Vanessa during meals. Ethan would peel fruit for her, something I had asked him to do before, but he said it was too much trouble and that he didn’t like it. Turns out it wasn’t that he didn’t like it, it was just that he didn’t like me. When we were supposed to return from our trip, Vanessa insisted on staying another day to visit a popular tourist spot. Actually, the day before, I had already noticed that the weather was becoming extreme, and I kept reminding Ethan, but he scolded me because of Vanessa.
“Vanessa is a heart patient. You’re a doctor. How can you be so vicious, always targeting her? We can have our romantic getaway anytime!” In the end, I gave in to Ethan’s hysteria, and then the landslide happened. Because Ethan protected Vanessa, she only suffered minor injuries. But inertia meant that, as the one in the backseat, I took the full force of the impact, even facing death. But when rescue came, Ethan didn’t ask if I was okay; he just wanted to take Vanessa and leave immediately. One of my colleagues from the hospital happened to be there, and after seeing my condition, they saved a spot on the rescue helicopter for me, but Ethan insisted on taking Vanessa. He said that if they delayed any longer, he’d cancel his donation to the hospital. After he left, my colleague quickly found another rescue helicopter for me, which is what saved my leg. Thinking about this, I suddenly felt too tired to watch Ethan and Vanessa act anymore.
I directly said: “You’re right, as a patient, she’s the most important. That’s why I didn’t argue with Ethan yesterday. I also agree that it was right to take her first. Didn’t Ethan convey these words to you? Why are you saying these ridiculous things again? Or are you insisting that I declare what you two did wasn’t something decent before you’re satisfied?” Vanessa froze on the spot, probably not expecting me, usually so submissive, to speak to her like that. Ethan also froze, and his face turned bad after he realized what I was saying. “You still say you’re not making a fuss? Vanessa came here out of kindness to see you, and this is how you talk? How could I possibly be with Vanessa?” He looked like I had wronged him, making me laugh. But Vanessa’s face turned even more unpleasant. Although Ethan favored her, he didn’t want to be with her, and that made her unwilling to give up. I didn’t bother watching them anymore and directly made plans with my mentor to go out for a meal. When Ethan finally realized and called me, he found out I had blocked him.
Looking at the message where he questioned me, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud: “So he does know that blocking someone is rude?” My mentor cautiously asked me, “Have you broken up?” I nodded, “Not yet, but it’ll be over soon. I was forcing it before, but I won’t anymore.” He nodded without arguing. After discussing the project details with my mentor, I received a call from an unknown number. When I answered, Ethan’s unhappy voice came through: “Claire, where are you? When are you coming back? Why did you block me?” “I’m an adult. I have my own things to do. I don’t need to report to you.”
I directly replied. He seemed taken aback for a moment, then said, “I’m still worried about you running around with your injury.” “Ethan, next time you tell me something like that, you might want to make sure Vanessa has blocked me on her social media first. I’ve already seen the video of you cooking for her. Why didn’t you think of me when you were cooking for her?” He was momentarily speechless and then hung up the phone. I had seen that social media post long ago but didn’t bother to react because I had more important things to do. But he insisted on telling me he was worried about me, which was just too disgusting.