Heartless Angels Novel – I try hard not to roll my eyes at my future luna. Suddenly, I feel a dull pain in my chest, almost like someone touching a bruise. I look to my sons and see that they are feeling the pain as well. James is rubbing his chest and Jack has his hand to his chest as he rolls his neck in circles. No one else is reacting, just the three of us and I know, I just know that something is wrong with Oakley. The twins look up and make eye contact with me, coming to the same conclusion that I have. We all jump up from the table, running towards the door. “Gentlemen! What’s wrong” the former luna begins when suddenly Levi screams in rage and anguish. “SHE LEFT! SHE’S GONE!” He screams.
No. Not him. Anyone but him. Goddess why would you fate me to someone as cruel as he is? But it’s true. There’s no one else that the intoxicating scent of cedar and moss calling out to me and my wolf could be coming from. Levi Silver. The reason that everyone is gathering here at the pack house of the Silver Moon pack. In two days’ time, he will take the mantle of Alpha from his father. All wolves of the pack were required to travel here to witness his inauguration and swear fealty to him. And he is my mate. What am I gonna do? I can’t reject him. My wolf isn’t strong enough. She wouldn’t survive. But he’s not going to accept me. I already know that. For one, a luna has to be strong, able to fight by her alpha’s side in order to protect the pack.
And like I’ve said, my wolf isn’t strong enough. I mean, I’ve only been able to shift once since my wolf manifested when I turned 16. Werewolves gain their wolf and their ability to shift when they turn 16. But the strength of their wolf, the inherent power that they have inside of them is what determines their ability to freely shift. Most wolves are able to at least shift on the night of the full moon. Those of higher rank, like beta, delta, gamma, or alpha are able to shift at will as many times as they want, as are pack warriors. And then there are wolves like me. We are seen as lesser than in the pack, barely better than humans.
We don’t shift often, maybe a handful of times in our lifetime. There is no rhyme or reason to our shifting. It may happen in times of high emotion or just out of the blue. And then we are trapped in that form until our bodies randomly shift again. We are more liabilities to the pack than help because we can’t go around humans. We never know when our bodies will just change without our permission. The second reason that Levi will automatically reject me is that he has already told the pack that he will not mate his fated mate unless she is of alpha or beta blood. If he ever does find his mate and she does not meet that one criteria, he will reject her and marry for political gain.
As I see my brothers greet the alpha-to-be, I try to slink further back in the crowd at the picnic behind the pack house. Maybe I can get to our accommodations in one of the guest cabins. I’ll tell my brother’s that I don’t feel well. They’ll believe it. A weak wolf means a more human-like immune system, so I’m subject to common colds, headaches, and stomachaches that typical wolves don’t have to deal with. My stamina isn’t as good as theirs is, either, so I can also claim just to be tired from the journey. I begin to think that I’m home free, when I see Levi pull Jack closer to him, smelling his shirt. Jack had been carrying my bags, so he definitely smells more like me than James does. Now Levi has smelled me. With my scent in his nose, he’ll be able to track me, no matter how faint my smell is. Maybe if I get to the river I saw by the cabins, I can get him off my trail.
At least long enough for me to think of a plan. It’s not a long term solution, but it’ll have to do until I can figure out something better. I turn and begin to run through the picnic area and down the wooded path towards the cabins and the river. Luckily, I didn’t know anyone that had been around me at the time and hadn’t spoken to anyone, so when Levi howled and called out mate, likely looking in the direction I was running, no one saw or tried to stop me. I’m running as hard and as fast as I can, which I know isn’t going to help my scent. The more adrenaline and sweat that comes out of my pores, the stronger my scent will be. I’ve got to make it to the river, swim as far away as I can so that he doesn’t know who I am. He’ll likely interrogate James and Jack, but I can’t worry about that right now. I’ve got to get away. I hear the thunder of paws on the ground, knowing that he’s starting to catch up.
I try to put on an even bigger burst of speed, but it’s no use. I just glimpse the river shining in the waning summer sunlight when I’m tackled to the ground, a large black wolf landing on my back and pushing me face down into the earth. I guess I should have known better than to think that Levi Silver would soften the blow for me just because I’m his mate. I manage to get my hands under me before I hit the ground and they and my knees take the brunt of the fall, leaving them scraped and bleeding. I know that I’ll also be left with bruises on my back as souvenirs from my first encounter with my mate. Still on my back, Levi’s wolf leans down and growls in my ear, the sound menacing. I feel the shiver of fear that runs through my body, though I try to stifle it. Not just because the fear will thrill him, but also because I can’t stand to let him know how scared I am.
I might have a weak wolf, but that doesn’t mean that I’m a doormat that any alpha-hole can just walk all over. While I’m trying to calm my fear, covering it with the anger that this male would treat his mate this way, I hear the cracking of bones and feel the distribution of weight on my back change. I know that he’s shifted back to his human form, which fills me with envy that he can do it so easily and anxiety because now he’s laying on top of me undressed. Those feelings are quickly overwhelmed by anger when he begins to speak. “You’re my mate?” he scoffs, his voice full of indignation and disgust. “You barely have a scent. Have you even been able to shift with how weak you are?” He moves to stand, digging into my shoulder as he uses me for leverage to get up. I stifle the grunt of pain from bearing his weight on that one small part of my body, not wanting to let him know that he’s hurt me.
No, instead I pull my legs under me and quickly jump to my feet, turning to face him and getting into a ready stance in case he comes at me. I might not have the strength of a werewolf, but a good fighter knows that leverage is just as important as strength in a fight. And my father trained me hard to make sure that I know how to defend myself against opportunistic wolves that think they can overpower someone like me. I just never thought I’d have to use these skills against my mate. Levi sees my reaction and laughs in my face. “At least you’re feisty. That’s points in your favor.” I keep my eyes on his core. That’s where I’ll notice if he’s making a move towards me. Plus, looking into an alpha’s eyes is a challenge to his authority. And I definitely wasn’t looking down until he got some clothes on. Yet, even though I’m not looking at his eyes, I still feel them running up and down my body. “Not bad, either. I’d give you a 7 out of 10. I’ve worse.” That statement from my mate feels like a punch right to my gut.
Tears spring to my eyes, but I keep my gaze directed at his core, refusing to let my guard down. He takes a step toward me, raising his hand towards my face. I immediately shuffle back two steps, swiping my arm in front of my face to block his hand. My gaze moves up a bit to his chest, which is where I noticed his first movement last time. Assess, react, assess again. That’s what my dad would always tell me when teaching me how to fight an unknown opponent. Watch how they move, react to the movements appropriately, and observe them again so you know how to react next time. Levi chuckles again, seeming to find my attempt at self-defense amusing. “I won’t hurt you, pup. What’s your name?” I hadn’t wanted to speak to him. In all honesty, I had been sincerely hoping that I could have slipped away unnoticed until I could get some scent neutralizer.
Then he would never have known that he was my mate, the bond wouldn’t have formed, and we could have gone on about our merry little lives. Too late for that now. I could already feel his wolf calling to my own. And even though my wolf can barely respond to me, she gives a feeble call to her mate, letting him know that she’s there. I can already feel the bond forming between us, making me want to move closer to him. It’s why he’d tried to touch me a minute ago. But, he’s an alpha. I can’t not answer him. Not unless I want severe punishment. “Oakley Moon.” I reply, my voice stilted and flat. His body stiffens a bit and I know that he’s startled by what I just said. “Oakley Moon? You mean Jack and James’ little sister?” “Yes, Alpha,” I say in the same tone as before. “Well. That makes things a bit more complicated.” One of his hands comes up and I stiffen, ready to react as needed.
But he doesn’t even notice. He’s lifting his hand to scratch his chin. He turns around and paces a few steps away from me before turning around and pacing those same steps back. After a few rounds of this, he shrugs his shoulders. “Well, there’s no help for it. I’m already engaged to the alpha’s daughter from the Red Tree Pack. We’re planning on announcing it at my alpha ceremony.” A pang fills my chest at his words and I have to bite my lip to stifle the moan of pain that wants to flow out of my mouth at this news. Again he doesn’t notice, just keeps talking. “I can’t break that engagement. It’s too important to the pack.
Plus, she’s a good lay and hot.” Again the pang in my chest. I can feel his eyes on me this time, seeing if I’ll react. I try not to, but he must see me bite my lip and the tears that shine in my eyes, though I refuse to allow them to fall. I can hear the smile in his voice as he says, “Don’t worry, pup. I’ll keep you around. My wolf, the stupid mongrel, is already attached to you. He wouldn’t rest unless you were by our side. I’ll continue with the engagement with Brittany and keep you around for breeding purposes. The strongest pups always come from a true mated pair, no matter how weak one of them is. Who knows? You live through giving me a male pup and a contingency kid and I might just let you go on your merry way.” And that’s it. That’s the final straw. I’m no longer worried about the pain that his words and attitude towards me provides. No, now anger courses through my veins and makes my vision red. Who does he think he is? Not anyone I will be tied to, that’s for sure.
I don’t care that he is my mate, the Goddess made a mistake. And I refuse to stick around and allow him to treat me like this for even one more second. I know that this could kill my wolf, but she isn’t really that present in my life in the first place. I’ve been living as if I were human all of my life. Now, I’ll truly be one. I straighten to my full 5’4″, putting my hands down and looking him straight in the eyes for the first time. I seem to have caught him by surprise, because he gasps as he meets my gaze. “No, Alpha. I refuse to live half a life just to give one selfish prick what he wants. I, Oakley Cadence Moon, reject you, Levi Silver, as my mate now and forever. I beg the Goddess to break our bond and sever any link between us.” I fall to my knees, this time not able to catch myself. My wolf howls in pain in my chest and I feel the literal breaking of the short-lived bond that had forged between us.
The pain is excruciating and it’s the only reason that I’m unable to react as Levi comes towards me. “You stupid woman! You reject me?! You think that I’ll just go away because you don’t want to be the breeding stock that is the only thing you’re good for?” As he screams, Levi begins raining down blows on my head and body. “I refuse your rejection! Do you hear me? I will never let you go! You are mine!” That’s the last thing I hear as one of his wild punches catches me in the temple and the world around me goes black. 3 months later. A pounding on my door rouses me from the listless half sleep that I’m in. I rub my eyes, trying to figure out what time it is. I don’t know why I still do that. It’s not like time matters anymore.
Not in this half-life that I live in. When I rejected Levi, I had fully expected that he would have accepted the rejection and that the resounding pain and ripping away of the other half of my soul would have killed my wolf right then and there. Instead, he rejected my rejection and beat me within an inch of my life before leaving me in the forest for dead. I have no idea what he told the rest of the pack, but he told my brothers exactly what had happened. And to my great astonishment, my brother’s took Levi’s side. “You’re just like our mother. Running away from your responsibilities. Can’t you see this is what’s best for the pack?” James hissed when he and Jack found me in the woods. They had picked me up and carried me to the cabin, hiding me there from the rest of the pack so they wouldn’t see what their alpha had done.
For he was no longer an alpha I claimed. “Selfish little woman, aren’t you?” Jack says, staring at me coldly as James roughly washes the blood off of my face. “I can’t believe that you’re fated to an alpha. Don’t you understand how lucky you are? How even your status as a breeder could help our family? We wouldn’t be regulated to some outpost at the edge of the territory. We’re there because of you. Because the entire pack shuns your weakness. You take this deal and we could come live in the heart of the territory. James and I could rise in rank at record speeds. Father could stop putting himself in such dangerous positions to get enough money to pay for a worthless, wolfless woman like you!” I can’t believe that these are my brothers speaking to me. They have always been so kind to me. Maybe not necessarily lovey dovey, but what brother was? Not any of them that I knew.
Now they’re saying these awful things to me and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’d always loved my brothers and looked up to them. Seems they see me as nothing but a means to an end. Had I been in any condition to care for myself at that point, I would have. As it was, I had several broken bones, including two ribs and a dislocated jaw, and bruises, cuts, and scrapes all over the place. As loath as they were to do it, my brothers ended up having to call for the pack doctor. I don’t know what they told the doctor about how I got the injuries that I did, but he didn’t ask me any questions and fixed me up so that I was at least not in pain and could sleep. The next day when my father arrived, the twins told him some convoluted story that was a mixture of truth, their perception, and lies.
He knew that I had rejected Levi, but he thought it was because I had seen him with his girlfriend and, like a typical, jealous teenager, I had thrown a hissy fit. I’d gotten into a fight with Brittany and she, as the daughter of an alpha, had beaten me. Levi, though, the saint that he is, had still been willing to take me as a mate, but I had rejected him out of spite. It had killed my wolf. Levi hadn’t rejected me, afraid to cause me even more pain, so there was still a connection between us, which Levi greatly cherished. He was hoping to change my mind after I had healed some. Excuse me while I hurl. We’ve stayed at the cabin within sight of the packhouse since then. As I couldn’t get out of bed, I was excused from the alpha ceremony and the loyalty binding, but I heard that it was a beautiful affair. Even more beautiful was when Levi announced his engagement to Brittany and his hope that our two packs would grow and thrive together for many years to come.
Jack made sure to tell me how stunning Brittany looked in her red gown, the color of her home pack, and how Levi had doted on her throughout the entire ceremony. “You could have that for yourself. All you have to do is accept his offer. It won’t be unheard of. Many alphas have done it throughout history.” In my head, I think “Yeah, those alphas were some of the most tyrannical and cruel in our history, using their true mates to produce pups until they literally died of exhaustion.” But I don’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. I haven’t spoken a word since my father came to see me lying in my bed in the cabin and wouldn’t listen to my explanation. No, he believed his sons and his alpha. Why would he believe his powerless daughter? So when the pounding woke me from my sleep, I didn’t bother speaking. What was the use? “Open the door, Oakley,” James calls to me. I just roll over and face the wall, trying to find a comfortable position to fall back to sleep in. It’s not like the door was locked.
They’d busted the knob the one time that I had locked it. They still had hope that I would take back my rejection and take Levi up on his offer. And to do that, I had to eat. I had to retain whatever humanlike strength that I had and heal from the beating that Levi had given me. As it was, my ribs and jaw were healed, as were my bruises, cuts, and scrapes. I still had a cast on my left wrist, but it was a removable kind, only to be worn when I slept so that I wouldn’t hurt it if I rolled over. Yay! Read the thick sarcasm in that one word. I don’t bother responding to my jailer…I mean brother. It’s not like what I want matters anyway. He pushes the door open and the smell of food hits me. How is it possible to be starving and nauseous at the same time? My body craves the nutrition that he’s bringing me, but I know that the second I finish eating, it will force the majority of it into the toilet. The pack doctor says that it’s depression and the after effects of the rejection.
My ever-so-loving mate made sure that he took her in the woods right under my window one night during a pack run. Wasn’t hard to put two and two together when every moan that she gave was accompanied by a twist in my gut that almost made me pass out. No one knows of that particular pain, except maybe Levi. I made sure that I muffled my screams in my pillow and, since I’m not talking, no one heard from me that it was happening. “Oakley,” James’s voice calls. It’s soft and concerned. Ha! That’s funny. Now he’s concerned. “Oakley, you’ve gotta get up, sis. I’ve brought your favorite oatmeal. Please sit up and eat.” I sit up as quickly as I can, putting my back to the wall to help support myself. Not because of James’s begging, but because Jack’s scent enters the room. I don’t have to look up to know that he’s standing in the doorway. Jack is the worst of the twins. He will stuff the food down my throat if I don’t eat it. I know because I had tried to starve myself at first. That didn’t last long.
I don’t look at either of my biological siblings, but hold my hands out for the tray that is in James’s hands. “I’ll help – ” James starts, but I vehemently shake my head and thrust my hands out to him again. He sighs and places the tray in my hands. From my lack of exercise and inability to keep my food down, my body is even weaker than normal and I nearly drop the tray. I somehow manage to save it, but I spill some of the orange juice that was in the glass on the tray. Oh, well. Not the worst thing that could happen. No, according to my brothers, the worst thing that could happen is me rejecting their alpha. Both James and Jack watch me choke down several bites of the overly sweet oatmeal before either of them speak. Again, I don’t look at them, just at the food in front of me, wondering how much I’ll have to eat before they’ll leave me alone and I can go back to sleep.
“Levi and Brittany will be coming by today. Brittany doesn’t know that you are Levi’s mate. She thinks that you are a rejected wolf and she wants to come and help. Apparently her Goddess-gift is some healing power…” Jack says. I freeze my movements at the mention of Levi’s name, but move back to the mechanical movements of bringing my spoon from the bowl, up to my mouth, and back down again. It really doesn’t matter who comes to visit me. It won’t be the first time that Levi has been here since I’ve refused to come out of my room. He’ll stay for a few minutes, remind me of his offer, call me a pathetic excuse of a wolf, and then leave. It’s all so tiresome.