Love of a Lifetime Novel – Mike had a woman bent over his desk with his pants around his ankles and she was as undressed as the day she was born. His hips were thrusting repeatedly in and out of her and she was moaning his name. One hand was around her throat and his other was rubbing between her legs. Even though their backs were to me, I knew who they were. I knew very well who both of them were. One, my husband of 17 years, and the other my best friend since first grade.
Joanna I rubbed my chest trying to relieve the pain. The mammogram I just had hurt like a bimbo and I may have been a bit of a wimp when it came to pain. The nurse had left me in Doctor Mitchells office. Look at me being all formal, Brian was one of our greatest friends. I would have asked my husband to do the testing for me but according to policy it wasnt allowed and i didnt want to make him nervous about something that might not even be real. I had felt a lump in my chest that was accompanied with pain several months ago, and finally working up the courage I decided to get it checked out. “Knock knock!” Brian’s voice filtered through the door, but he didn’t smile. He didn’t even meet my eyes. He sat at his desk and folded his hands and bowed his chin to his chest.
“Well, whatever this is, it can’t be good…” He finally raised his head and he looked like he had aged 20 years within the past few minutes. With a deep sigh he reached across the desk and grabbed my hand. “Jo, this is not what I wanted to be doing at all, but it is confirmed. You do have chest cancer. Stage 3.” I choked on whatever spit I had left in my mouth. “W-what?” He went into details confirming my diagnosis and treatment options. “I would really like to start you on Chemotherapy, as soon as possible” I nodded my head, but I don’t know what information I was really processing and what I wasn’t. “Does Mike know? What about Gage?” I shook my head. “No, and I don’t want them to know. Not yet. I will stop by Mike’s office before I leave the office but Gage, he has so much going on. He’s 17, in his senior year of highschool, he has SAT’s and College applications, I don’t want to put this on his shoulders too…Can we, can we maybe keep this between me and you? At Least for now?” He nodded his head. “Of course, even if you weren’t a friend, it’s patient confidentiality.
I cannot tell anyone you don’t authorize even if they are a fellow doctor in this practice. But Joanna,” I made sure to pay attention because no one ever called me by my full name unless it was serious, they were a stranger, or I was in trouble. “They’re going to find out sooner or later. The side effects of Chemo can be pretty brutal, but in your case it is necessary. I’m going to send you home with some information, I want you to read it over and if you have any questions you can call me. Day or night, I’m available.” I nodded and swiped at the few tears that I had in my eyes. Brian went into more details for me. Going over statistics, survival rates, side effects, everything I could have a question about he answered. In a matter of a few hours my whole life had changed. I was scared. I had cancer.
I was a 33 year old woman and I had cancer. Could I even survive this? I gathered my things and Brian walked me to the door. “Remember, just breathe. You can beat this.” he gave me a quick hug and I stuffed the brochures and papers he gave me into my purse and walked down the hall to Mike’s office. My mind was so fuzzy that I was there before I even blinked. I could hear muffled noises inside, but I knew his schedule. He was supposed to be at lunch, so I knew there were no patients in his office. I tried the handle and it was unlocked so I walked in. but lord, I wish I hadn’t. I wish I could unsee everything. In Fact I wish I could undo this entire day. Mike had a woman bent over his desk with his pants around his ankles and she was as undressed as the day she was born. His hips were thrusting repeatedly in and out of her and she was moaning his name.
One hand was around her throat and his other was rubbing between her legs. Even though their backs were to me, I knew who they were. I knew very well who both of them were. One, my husband of 17 years, and the other my best friend since first grade. Her bleached blonde hair is a ratted mess that looks like this isn’t their first round. I don’t know why I was still here watching this. Why I was still subjecting myself to this torture. My hands started to shake and my knees went weak. Losing all function I dropped my purse and stumbled against the door frame, using it to support my bodyweight. The sound must have startled them because she shrieked and he turned around. If either of them lost any more color in their skin, I would be concerned that they were the cancer patients, not me. He stepped away from her, pulling out, which allowed me to see he wasn’t even using a protection.
I gasped and put my hand up over my mouth. Both to conceal my shock and to prevent the vomit from flowing that I so desperately wanted to release. He fumbled with his pants trying to secure them around his waist. “Jo…please. It’s not what it looks like.” You’ve got to be kidding me. “Jo…Joey baby…” I shook my head furiously and started backing away. Lisa hasn’t moved. She had her head bowed in shame, but she wasn’t trying to fix the problem. Not that there was a way to fix this. I stumbled over my own feet and fell backwards. “Jo!” I heard brian shout and he caught me before I hit the ground. “What’s going on, are you okay?” he obviously had not seen. I couldn’t stop shaking my head. I tried to escape his hold, but he held onto me tighter. “Jo..please baby…” Mike’s voice caused Brian to turn his head. “What the actual heck…You have got to be kidding me.” his voice was low and angry and I’m surprised he has enough willpower to even speak.
“My best friend, having intercourse with my wife. That’s really rich. Lisa?” he questioned. I used him being distracted to pull away from everyone. I ran. I picked up my bag and I ran as fast as my little legs would carry me. I couldn’t be here. I couldn’t do this. If I thought my life was falling apart before, it’s definitely falling apart now. I heard shouting, skin slapping from whoever decided to throw the first punch. I heard my name being called repeatedly. I heard footsteps following fast behind me but I didn’t stop. I wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I needed to get out of there. I got to my car and locked myself inside and propped my head on the steering wheel. I loved my car. It was my personal mom’s mobile. I had bought it as a gift to myself after graduating Veterinary tech school and getting a job at one of the local practices in town. It was a blue Subaru outback and I couldn’t have felt more accomplished. I started the car but continued to cry with my head on the steering wheel.
I felt a tug at the door but thanks to it being locked it didn’t budge. I jolted up and noticed my husband standing there with a wild and scared look on his face. His right cheek was bruised and starting to swell indicating Brian was the one to throw the first punch. “Joanna, please, open the door. Baby, let’s talk about this.” I shook my head and wiped my tears away. I looked at the diamond ring that sparkled on my finger and sighed. I wiggled it off and cracked my window just enough to fit my hand through and drop the ring. He caught it and looked at me in disbelief. “Joey, no…” I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response. I put the car in gear and sped away. I knew Gage was staying the night at a friend’s house so I went to the only other place I knew I could go.
I called Rachel and prayed to god she picked up. It rang three times before a breathy “Hello” sounded through the car speakers. I forgot she was in a spin class right now. “Rach…..” I cried out. “Say no more. Meet me at my house in 30 minutes. I’ll bring the spirits.” I thanked her and disconnected the call. My phone kept ringing. Between calls from Mike, Brian and even Lisa, I had 20 missed phone calls. I turned my phone off to avoid them all and made my way to the only friend I had left. How did my life end up like this? Joanna I think I was on glass number 4 or 5, I lost track. I have neer been able to handle my spirits well and tonight was a night that I didn’t really care. I was thankful that tonight was Friday and I didn’t have to work tomorrow. I was glad that Gage wasn’t home to witness everything going to complete and utter shet. I was glad that the phone calls stopped. I was glad that I had this 7th glass of spirits. Wait, I thought it was the 4th.
Oh, what ever. Rachel was looking at me expectantly. I hadn’t told her exactly what happened yet. I just told her I needed to be drunk enough with a full belly to even discuss today’s events. Check one and check two, so I guess now I need to hold up my end of the bargain. Lisa and I had met Rachel when I was in college and we hit it off immediately. She works at the veterinary clinic with me and she has honestly been a big supporter in my life and vice versa. “Today was my mammogram…” I whispered and her face softened. She didn’t probe, she didn’t nudge me to continue. She waited for me to gather my strength to continue and I was so thankful. “It’s stage 3…” “Oh Jo!” she wrapped me in her arms and I sobbed. “That’s not all….” She pulled back but kept her arms around me. She raised a brow at me waiting for my answer.
“I went to Brian today. He’s the one who gave me the results. I figured since Mike’s office was right down the hall that I would just go ahead and tell him. He was on his lunch break, so he didn’t have any patients…” I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. “I caught him mid thrust in another woman…” I don’t think she meant it but her grip on my shoulder got dangerously tight. “I’m sorry, what? Where is he? I know how to hide a body without being caught. Who is the tramp? Do I need to kill her too?” I held my hand up with wide eyes. “You know you are pretty scary when you’re angry. But that’s not even the worst part…” “What do you mean that’s not the worst part? Your husband is having an affair with another woman. What is worse than that?”
I let out a breath and rested my elbows on my knees and bowed my head. My golden waves covering my face. “It was Lisa….” Her spirits glass dropped to the floor and shattered. When I met her gaze she looked frozen in shock. Her brown eyes that usually reminded me of molten chocolate were nearly black with rage. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even look like she was breathing. “Rach…?” I probed and she shook her head. “I’m going to kill her. Lisa? Our friend Lisa was your husband on his desk at his work? Lisa that’s also Married to his best friend that also works in the same office? That lisa?” I couldn’t formulate words so I settled for nodding my head. Rachel was silent and usually when she was this mad and silent, it was bad. “Rachel, what am I going to do? I’ve been with Mike for 17 years. Since the day I found out I was pregnant with Gage… I don’t know any other life. I have never lived alone. You know how much family means to me… I was a foster kid. My own parents didn’t even want me. I don’t want Gage to grow up in a broken home too.”
“Joanna. First of all, just because you have a kid with someone doesn’t mean you need to stay with them. Second of all, Gage is already grown up. He’s a young man. Thirdly, you are never going to be alone. You are my family. And lastly, how long has this been going on?” I shrugged. “Truthfully I don’t know. I ran out of there as fast as I could. He tried to get me out of the car, but I threw my ring at him and drove off. I just couldn’t stick around. After the news I got this morning and then that. I was pretty stretched thin on what I could handle.” She nodded and took a few deep breaths before taking me into her arms again. “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to finish off this bottle of spirits, we’re going to watch a bunch of chick flicks, we’re going to eat to our stomach’s desire and get a good night’s rest. And tomorrow, we’re going to go to your house. I’m going with you, that’s not up for negotiation. You’re going to talk to Mike, and we’re going to pack you a bag and you’re going to stay with me. After you’ve given it some clear thought without pressure from anyone and you’re ready to make a decision then okay. But you can’t make any decisions while you’re living with him because he will cloud your judgement. Now chop chop. Pick out a movie, I’ll get the snacks. You can change into a pair of my Pjs too.”
With Rachel growing up an Army brat, you could hear the authoritarian in her coming out. She marched off to the kitchen while I changed my clothes and picked out a movie. Hours later she was passed out on the sofa with a line of drool coming out of her mouth. However, I couldn’t sleep. I just couldn’t shut my mind off. My phone pinged with a text and I realized there were several I never noticed… Gage: Hey, dad said he’s been trying to call you. Everything okay? Gage: Mom, dad said he’s worried about you. What does he mean? What’s going on? Gage: that’s it I’m coming home Gage: Mom, dad passed out drunk on the sofa. Where are you? Please answer your phone… I pinched the bridge of my nose feeling a migraine coming on.
Me: Hey baby. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear my phone go off. I am at Aunt Rachel’s house. Gage: Oh, so now you answer your phone. Me: Watch the attitude. I didn’t hear it go off. I’ve had a rough day and turned it on silent. I’m sorry, love. Gage: Well that doesn’t explain what’s going on… Me: We will talk tomorrow. This isn’t something we should discuss over text messages. Gage: Well then I’m coming to Aunt Rachels. She has a room there for me anyways. We’ll talk then. I love you, Momma. At least he still loves me. I just hope that what I tell him isnt going to change that. I don’t even know what to tell him or how much to tell him. I debated on waking Rachel up to let her know we were adding one more to the party, but she was snoozing hard.
You definitely didn’t want to wake Rachel when she hasn’t gotten enough rest. She turns into an instant bimbo and I don’t have the capacity to deal with that right now. I made sure to cut on the porch light and unlock the door and go into the kitchen to heat him up something to eat, knowing he’s going to be hungry. Yes, I may have been trying to bribe my child into not hating me with food, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. I heard some shuffling in the foyer and a few curses and then silence. Going to check it out, I peeked around the corner to see Gage kneeling down to pick up my purse that he had knocked over, but all of the contents had spilled. Including all of the brochures from Brian’s office and the paperwork with my test results on it. His face was pale and he wasn’t moving. “Mom…?” his eyes raised to mine. His bright blue eyes that matched his fathers and they were starting to blur with unshed tears. “Mom, what is this?” I sighed, something I’ve been doing a lot of today and knelt next to him. “Gage, son, look at me” he did and I could see the tremble in his body. “I didn’t want to tell you about that yet… I wanted to wait until after SAT’s and until you picked a good school.”
He shook his head. “No!” I gave him a look and he mumbled a sorry. “You know what, I’m not sorry! You’re sick! You need me! I can go to a school closer to home! I can still achieve my goals and dreams while being here for you.” This is what I was afraid of. “Baby, I don’t want you to put your life on hold for me. I will be okay. I’m a fighter. I’m strong. I can handle anything. I want you to live your life for you, I want you to make choices because you want to do them. Not because you feel obligated.” “I’m not obligated to do anything. You’re my mother. You gave me life. If you think I would for a second abandon you in your time of need then you’re sadly mistaken. You raised me better than that.” I took him in my arms and he pecked the top of my head. Now that he was nearly an adult he was almost a foot taller than me. “I just want you to have every change you can possibly have in life. A better life than what I had growing up.” His hug got tighter. “You’ve given me an amazing life mom. Let me help you. No wonder dad drank himself into a stupor.” I couldn’t help it. I tensed at the mention of Mike and Gage unfortunately noticed. “Mom?” he asked, raising a brow. I attempted to brush it off because this was an adult matter. It’s not something a teenager, let alone our child should be thrusted into the middle of.
He wasn’t having it. “I know you told Rachel about it or else you wouldn’t have come here. So you have two choices. Either tell me what I want to know, or I will wake up aunt Rachel and we both know that won’t end well.” “just tell the boy!” Rachel said, peeking her head above the sofa. I narrowed my eyes at her and she shrugged and shrunk down further waiting for the explosion of what I’m about to tell my son. “Please don’t hate me…” I whispered to him not expecting him to hear me but knowing that he did. “Your dad and I….I will be staying here for a few days.” His face scrunched up in confusion. “Why… you and dad..you’re my idol couple. You’re so in love. I…What happened?” “I thought we were in love too…” I sobbed a bit knowing full well that that was the truth. I thought we did love each other. The intercourse was great, the intercourse was frequent, we hardly ever fought, we spend time together. I don’t understand what happened. “Your dad is having an affair and I found out about it today.” I couldn’t meet his eyes. I was filled with shame.
Shame that I failed my marriage, that I failed my family, and that I wasn’t enough to keep my family together. I felt like there was no way out of this dark place. I can’t face him knowing that I failed him. “Who?” was all he said. I looked up and his face was turning red and the tips of his ears even redder. A trait he inherited from his father. “It’s not important…” “God mom! TELL ME WHO!” I trembled at the anger he released. “Gage, just calm down…” He shook his head. “No. Not this time. I’m not going to calm down. Tell me who dad decided to throw his family away for. Tell me who dad thought was so important that he would chose to break up his own family for.” Wait, he wasn’t mad at me? “You’re not mad at me?” I asked stupidly. He took three giant steps towards me and engulfed me in a hug. I could feel his own tears hitting my forehead. “Why would I ever be mad at you over this? You’re not the one who stuck a body part in another person that wasn’t your spouse. You’ve never been anything short of amazing Momma. But please. Tell me who”. “It was Lisa…” I muttered knowing he deserved to know, but hating that I was thrusting all of this on my child. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
was all he said before he stormed out of the door, got in his truck and sped off. Joanna “Go after him before he does something he’ll regret. He may be mad now, but he’s reacting to emotional overdrive” Rachel’s voice was sad but firm. I knew I would need to go after him. After the multiple bombshells that were dropped on him in the past hour, it’s a wonder he’s still standing. It’s a miracle that I’m still standing, but I’ve also had spirits to help drown my sorrows in. There’s only one place he would have gone. He would have gone home to confront Mike. Rachel trailed behind me as we all climbed in my car. “You don’t think he’ll do anything stupid do you?” she was silent, but I knew the answer myself. We drove the short 15 minutes it took to get to my house, well my old house, and sure enough his truck was parked in the driveway still running.
I could hear the yelling from outside. Shouting from both Gage and Mike. When I got through the door it was clear that I needed to calm one if not both of them down. Pictures were smashed, there was glass everywhere. I rounded the corner to the living room to see Mike pinned to the wall by Gage. Both of them were nearing 6 foot tall and well built but seeing our 17 year old holding such an advantage over him was shocking. Mike’s eyes met mine and they bugged out. “Why?” Gage shouted. “Why would you do this? I thought you cared about us? Was it worth it you prick!” his voice cracked with emotion the more that he spoke. I walked up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder causing him to jerk before turning to meet my gaze.
“Let him go sweetie…” he shook his head in refusal. “Gage, let him go…” My voice was soft and he slowly released his grip on his dad and Mike sagged against the wall while Gage fell into my arms. “It’s okay sweetie. Everything is going to be okay. Rachel is in the car. Grab a bag of clothes and go to the car.” he nodded and walked away. “Jo…” I held up my hand to him. “Save it…I’m grabbing a bag myself and staying with Rachel for a few days.” he stepped towards me causing me to step back. The hurt in his eyes was evident, but it was his own fault. “Can we please just talk about this? I made a mistake, yes, but we can fix this!” I scoffed. “A mistake? An accident? What did you accidently fall and land in her private part?” he hung his head. “And the worst part about all of this is, it wasn’t even a complete stranger. Lisa. My best friend. How long has this been going on?” “Well?” I probed when he didn’t answer. “This was the first time in years that I’ve been with her…” he wasn’t looking at me, he refused to look me in the eye. “Wait….you said in years. What did you mean?”