No Going Back Novel – Floria “Ria please don’t be mad, I’ll be back in like two days maximum,” he tried to convince me by caressing my face. Two days was long enough. I ignored the very sad emotions bubbling inside me, making me want to cry. The nickname only adds to the emotions, everyone else called me Lori, but he said he’d like to call me Ria. Since it matches your personality in every language’s meaning. Joy, elegant, beautiful, graceful, gem. I rolled my eyes at him and turned away slowly, cautiously, into a comfortable position, sliding my leg over the pregnancy pillow and snuggling into it. My husband groans beside me. “I hate this pillow.” He grunted sliding his hands over my large eight months and ten days pregnant belly and hugged me from behind, his face buried in my neck inhaling my scent which he said helps him sleep peacefully.
I grabbed his hand, and threw it away from me scooting a little bit further, he sighed sliding closer, and dropping a long sweet smooch on my exposed shoulder. I stifled a moan, I was so freaking sensitive ever since I got pregnant every small touch aroused me, at the weirdest of times, scratch that, anytime no matter what the situation is, also extremely uncomfortable and drowsy. And to have the doctor’s warning not to have intercourse or any other straining sexual activities was slow torture. If I am not eating, then I am sleeping, if not sleeping then I am crying because I get exhausted if I walk two yards from our house. I had a high risk of premature labour and my diabetes only added to the trouble. Thankfully, I had my best friend, Aubrey’s Aunt to guide me through it all, she’s a highly recommended obstetrician and impressive at her job. How ridiculous it was that pregnancy can have both beautiful magic and disastrous consequences at times. At a point, it’s all excitement and happiness then there is continuous discomfort and emotional distress.
Hormonal changes, and body transformation yet when I look at Antonio it all becomes easy and perfect. Whenever he was home, he had been so patient, understanding and caring, which had turned me into a clingy pregnant reptile. There was a time I was down because of the lack of intercourse in our marriage lately, but he assured me over and over again. I just want to be snaked around him all the time. The only time I can feel some energy and get myself to do or enjoy something. So now the fact that he was leaving for two days when he had already been occupied a lot lately, with the two new bar-restaurants he is building in New York and Las Vegas, I was feeling uncontrollably sad. When we met he owned two bars, then it multiplied when we got engaged, and again multiplied when we got married Antonio loved owning properties and businesses all over the country so he could travel which he enjoyed just as much. Now he almost owns eight bars and honestly, those bars are his second wife.
This pregnancy was unexpected, not that it didn’t make us happy, but we were hoping for it to happen once Tony was done with the New York Bar, but it miraculously happened before that and we can’t be any happier. As much as it has been a rollercoaster, it was still memorable and wonderful. We couldn’t wait to welcome our baby, and more children into the future creating a nurturing life and home. My husband’s hand sneaked into the blankets, trying to hold me close once again, hoping my anger would fade away like it usually does. I am not a tempered person, the most I could do was yell or try to and end up laughing because I had a delicate vocal that nobody could take seriously even if they wanted to, it was like a Disney princess singing. “Don’t try to coax your way out of this Antonio,” I snarled at him, rejecting his advances again, and placing my lower arm over my eyes to shield myself from him. He was a freaking magician when he was adamant, his conversations and eyes were one of those convincing lawyers and hypnotists. “I hate when you call me with my full name.”
He scoffs pausing his attempts to entice me. He was supposed to keep trying. For a while, he was silent, annoying me more, I sighed audibly to let him know I was still awake and very much angry. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but I was hoping to buy us a place in Colorado and Montana, so you could come along whenever I am flying for work. And also have a place closer to your parents so you know you don’t have to put intercourse on pause because of your stuck up Father,” Suddenly, his gentle voice echoes surprising me and killing all the bad-mood bacteria. Flashes of us owning a beautiful cottage, relishing nature, and enjoying snow with our kids triple my excitement. “Really! Oh my goodness Tony you are the best.” I beamed loudly, all my sadness flipping into blossoming happiness as I turned to him. “And don’t be mean. No Father would ever want to imagine his daughter having intercourse.” I smacked his muscular tattoed arms and he chuckled pulling me closer.
“Well, your daughter is somebody’s woman. Of course he’ll be banging her.” He snorts and I gasped dramatically. “You’re so shameless Tony.” Shaking my head I poked his nose. “You love it, Woman.” He glanced down at me with a striking smile his almost golden amber eyes peering down at me with love, brown curls resting on his forehead, making him look like a feast ready to devour if possible causing me to fall for him all over again. I slapped his chest, happy tears gathering in my eyes while I snuggled closer into his wide, strong arms that made me feel the safest in the world. He tightened his hold on me making me sigh contently. “Also, I promise we are spending this weekend together, doing whatever you want so you don’t miss me too much.”
He announces surprising me twice. I angled my neck up at him to glance at him one last time before I slept, his admiring gaze never left me, and then he leaned down letting his lips touch mine. I reached closer to steal a perfect smooch, allowing our mouths to clash against each other, tongues intertwining. We smooched for a while until we both knew we were short of breath and couldn’t possibly do anything to quench our desires. Great now I was all bothered, and also so hot! “I love you, Ria,” he says with desperate urgency, resting his forehead on mine. “I love you too.” I smooched his jaw, sliding my arms across his waist and cuddling up to him in a satisfied position. Keeping his promise, he planned a picnic in our backyard since I wasn’t allowed to drive or ride. He had set up a small tent, so I could sit in the shade and still enjoy the sun without getting dehydrated with some comfy pillows and lanterns we could use in the evening.
We watched the movie The Tomorrow War on a projector screen, and of course, I cried at certain scenes, missing my parents who lived in another state. The rest is a tale of tiredness and sleep, by doing absolutely nothing. I am pregnant after all! But the morning he was leaving I had this weird wiggling in my stomach, it wasn’t sitting down with anything. I couldn’t see him off happily because deep down I was scared for some reason. Then I heard him speaking on the phone, which made my ears perk up. “Ten days?” I exclaimed loudly, a heaviness growing in my chest. He sighed turning over to me as he buttoned up his shirt. “Sweetheart, the idea you had for the open bar and table setup in the front Samara said we could pull it together now, no need to delay it.” Assuringly he informs. “But you said two days,” I cried out in frustration, tears forming in my eyes.
“Ria, relax. Ten days pass in a snap.” His persuasion lacked concern for me like he wasn’t aware of the fact that I was almost in the ninth month of a risky pregnancy. Ten days were too much, I am already busting out what if the baby comes while he is gone? “I don’t want you to go,” I announced firmly. I hadn’t ever stopped him from working, but he needed to realise at crucial times Family is more important. “Ria,” he groans in protest. “Tony,” I whispered. “Please, I don’t feel good, I am scared please don’t go,” I pleaded through the tears, pressing my lips together to stop myself from crying. “Hey, hey,” he walks over to me, crouching down so he is face level with me and clasping my hands in his much larger ones. “I promise I’ll return as soon as the work is complete,” he says only smashing my hopes of changing his decision.
“Why can’t Samara handle all that?” I questioned irritatingly, a weird distress taking over my mind. “She can’t be doing everything, Ria, I am just as responsible.” He replies harshly, making me flinch back. I looked down, unable to handle his irritation. “I am scared, what if the baby comes while you’re gone.” Upon my expression of fear, he scrunched up his face. “Stop being paranoid Floria.” His use of my full name only hurt me further. “Then come back in two days as you said you would,” I snapped while wiping the tears streaming down my face. He sighs clenching his jaw. “We’ve talked about this. Audrey is going to be here with you, I’ll Facetime every chance I get and get back as soon as possible. End of discussion.” Objectively explaining, he proclaimed fastening his watch around his wrist. “Fine, go.” I sniffled.”You’ve barely been here anyway,” I muttered under my breath. Something must have flipped inside him because he turned to me fiercely. “I’ve been here as much as necessary and possible Floria, be grateful some wives have it worse. It’s not like I knew you were going to be pregnant and I planned all these new business to avoid being here with you.”
He complains shaking his head, running his hands down his face. I bit my lip startled by his explosion, and I cowered away into the bed lying down, not wanting to smooch or hug him goodbye. It’s not like I purposefully became pregnant, or asked him to sit by my side like a slave all my pregnancy. He was working and I never complained, but was it too much to ask your husband to be there while you’re almost popping out? I knew he loved his business, and I loved watching him grow, but I hoped he would cut down on work a little bit while I was pregnant, but he didn’t. He wasn’t gone all the time, but he did miss many of my doctor visits and wasn’t there for me when I needed him at times. I never complained. “Ria.” He calls out regretfully his hand coming up to my shoulder. “Just go,” I refuse to look at him, he can go do whatever he wants I simply don’t have the energy to argue anymore. My body was sore, my mind was chaotic and I was losing the last string of sanity I had.
No need to add to the list. “I am sorry.” He presses a smooch to my temple from behind and leaves the bedroom. I heard the front door close shut, and the lock clicked in place so I knew he left. Without considering my request. I let the tears fall as I sobbed into the pillow letting them soak my anxiety. When I woke up it was dark outside, and I could hear the television in the living room, so I knew Audrey was there already like always. I gradually slid up, pushing a cushion behind my back and rubbing my temples to soothe the slight ache there. My phone tinged and I grabbed it with bitterness expecting his useless apologies. But it was someone else. An unknown number, but by reading the text I had an idea of who it could be. You didn’t believe me when I told you about your dearest husband’s illicit affair. I have solid proof now, just accept my calls. I rolled my eyes and ignored his ringing call, he must have been waiting impatiently to poison my mind.
Don’t believe me? Go check the stories on his business account. I sat there avoiding his texts and letting my mind calm itself. Then I sighed and picked up the phone, I wanted to rub it in his face that my husband is not a cheater, and he can’t convince me otherwise. Chase is my ex-boyfriend whom I broke up with because he tried to drunkenly force me to have intercourse with him while I wanted to wait. A few months back he suddenly appeared in my life claiming he saw my husband with a blonde woman going into a Motel. Did I believe him? No! My Antonio would never stoop so low, let alone with a woman who is his childhood engaged best friend? Never! He tried to corner me several times saying I should keep an eye on him, I had no idea why he was interfering in my life. But the third time. I’d slapped him, and warned him to call the cops on him. However, it wasn’t necessary because Antonio toughened him up when he saw the exact time I was threatening him. I didn’t tell him what the jerk’s false allegations were. He was already stressed enough with work and my unexpected pregnancy. I didn’t bother listening to him and called his bluff because he had no real evidence.
Because my husband never cheated. When I opened the stories about the blasting inauguration of the New York Bar, some pictures had blurry images of Samara being too close to my husband unlike other times when they maintained a modest distance. In a shaking video, they were seen dancing extremely close to each other, it sure wasn’t right for a married man and an engaged woman. I shrugged the unsettling feelings aside and went to the text strings of Chase’s new number. Chase. Why? Not enough proof, I am telling you to accept my Facetime now. I saw them slipping into the back storage room. A very hollow hole was digging inside me with curiosity filling it, I gritted my teeth and accepted his call. The screen adjusted to a dark blurry area, and I could hear some sloppy sounds of wet smooches. My hands trembled as I watched further and the small light pouring inside clarified their features. I froze in my place, the phone glued in my grasp.
My husband had her pinned to the wall, thrusting inside her, her long legs clasped around his waist as their body moved in sync with the continuous slapping of their disgusting bodies. Samara you feel so good. He groaned with a voice that he used with me, in our bed, behind our four walls. Yeah, so good baby so good. She purred back. A woman who I thought of as family. A loud banging of a utensil snapped me out of my freezing state. My phone slips out of my hold as I stand up from the bed, taking support from the wall to waddle down to Audrey. My voice was squeezed inside my throat, I couldn’t speak, and loud pulsations in my neck made it hurt as I held my head that was vibrating together. I was struggling to breathe as I cradled my stomach. Something oozed out of my nose, I raised my finger to inspect, and the red liquid raised my suffering. Then the same sensations were occurring between my legs. My coral dress is now red from the spots. My eyes drifted closed as I lost the ability to stay awake along with the Man I loved and trusted.