Repainting My Life: Once Tethered Now Free Novel – My eyes drifted to my husband,Gale’s phone,where a message thread glowed on the screen.The contact name,’My Lily.’ My heart clenched painfully. Lilian,Gale’s first love is back. Then suddenly a call came to his phone,it must be from Lilian. “I’ll be there in a minute.” He told me a lie about an emergency at the company. But I was well aware that he was eager to run into Lillian’s embrace. I trailed him to an apartment. Upon hearing the moans coming from inside the room, I covered my mouth and burst into tears. The idea of divorce hung over me.That time,I would not hesitate.
Tomorrow,I would finally graduate after four years of intense study,majoring in Painting at the Rhode Island School of Design. That was a day I had longed to share with my husband,Gale.But when I mentioned it to him over dinner,his response was as cold as the winter wind. “I have something to do tomorrow,”he said curtly.”I’ll just send you flowers.” With that,he rose from the table,already engrossed in his phone,leaving me staring at the empty space where he had sat,feeling as though I had been dismissed from his life entirely. In recent months,just when I thought Gale had started to warm up to me,he grew distant again.The cause of his sudden change was no secret that his ex-girlfriend,Lilian Bowen,had returned from Paris,planning to open her own boutique in Providence. Since her arrival,Gale has been at her side,like funding her dreams,supporting her every step,as if she were his wife.
For a whole month,I watched as he catered to her every need,lavishing her with his time and attention,while I was left with nothing but brief,dismissive conversations and half-hearted gestures. A month ago,I opened my own art exhibition,a milestone I had worked tirelessly toward.Gale did not come. He could not even spare a day to witness what I had created.Instead,he sent a bouquet of flowers with a generic note,a gesture that felt more like an obligation than a celebration. Yet,when Lilian needed him to pick her up from the airport,he rushed to her side without hesitation.For her,he even managed to make time to arrange every detail for her boutique’s opening in Providence,as if she was the center of his world. It felt as though I were nothing more than a ghost in my own marriage,haunting the halls of Douglas Manor,invisible to the man I had committed my life to. Frustration bubbling up inside me,I followed him upstairs,my voice breaking the silence.
“Why are you so cruel,Gale?When you didn’t come to my art exhibition last month,I held my tongue.When you went to pick up Lilian from the airport instead of spending time with me,I kept quiet. “And when you poured your time and money into her boutique,I didn’t complain. But now,on my graduation day,you can’t even spare a few hours for me?Is it all because of Lilian,again?” My voice was shaking,and perhaps the maids could hear,but I did not care.I needed him to understand the pain he was causing me. He turned to me,sliding his phone into his pocket,his face a mixture of annoyance and disdain. Without a word,he stepped closer,pressing me against the wall with a force that made me shiver. “What are you fussing about this time?”he sneered.”Is your monthly allowance not enough?Or do you need some luxury gift? Just say it,Rachel,instead of making a scene.” His words hit me like a slap.His insults cut deeper than he could ever know,reducing everything I felt for him to something material and shallow. Tears filled my eyes as I whispered,”I don’t need your money,Gale.
I need you.I need my husband to be with me,to care for me.That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” But my vulnerability seemed to amuse him; he smirked,his gaze cold and mocking as he pinched my chin roughly. “Your tears don’t work on me,Rachel.And I will never give you what you want.Don’t expect me to attend your graduation,”he said,his voice like ice. He released my chin with a sharp tug,leaving it stinging and red. Without another word,he turned,slamming the door of his bedroom so hard it reverberated through the house. Our marriage had always been empty,but in that moment,the reality of it crushed me. From the very start,our union had been nothing but a contract,an agreement arranged by his mother.We lived in separate rooms,strangers under one roof. To Gale,I was no more than a maid,tending to his every need as if that was the only reason I existed. Though the manor was full of staff,he insisted that I be the one to lay out his clothes,draw his bath,and make his bed each day.A mockery of a marriage, stripped of affection,intimacy,or kindness.
The man I had once hoped to build a life with had become an unbearable stranger.And though my heart ached with the memories of every kindness I had tried to give him,every hope I had once clung to, I knew that I had to let them all go starting from that day. – Growing up as an orphan,I often spent my days painting in the yard of the orphanage,dreaming of a life far beyond the walls that confined me. I longed for someone who might see my potential,adopt me,and help me pursue my passion for art.My greatest dream was to become a famous painter and open my own studio,a place where my creations could flourish. Then,after graduating high school,A woman offered me a rare chance.They would fund my studies at the Rhode Island School of Design(RISD),one of the finest art schools in the US. However,there was only one condition.I would need to marry their son,Gale,who was five years older than me and heartbroken after his longtime girlfriend had left him to move to Paris. I hesitated at first.After all,I was only eighteen,and Gale was twenty-three.”But does Gale…does he know about this?”I asked. “Yes,and he has agreed,”she replied,her gaze softening.
As a result,I accepted,partly out of gratitude and partly out of duty.Her mother had shown me a kindness I had never known,and I wanted to repay her. Gale and I entered the marriage more like acquaintances than lovers,but I held out hope that,over time,we might grow close. During college,I tried to carry my own weight too,by earning scholarships,selling my paintings online,and doing my best not to burden Gale financially. But Gale treated me like an inconvenience. Cold and indifferent,he barely acknowledged my efforts,regarding me as though I was an unwanted guest in his life. On our wedding day,he refused even to smooch me,turning away the moment the ceremony was over. The rare times Gale came to my room were on nights he was drunk,and those encounters were never out of affection; rather than calling it love,it felt like a violation,a reminder that I was tolerated,not cherished. One night,he stumbled into my room,his eyes glazed from drinking.I tensed,already sensing what was about to happen. “Rachel,”he slurred,leaning against the doorframe,”Why don’t you ever come to my room?” “You never asked me to,”I replied,trying to keep my voice steady.”And it’s not like you wanted this marriage any more than I did.” He scoffed,crossing the room unsteadily and grabbing my arm.”You’re just here because of my mother.Without her,you’re nothing.”The words stung,even though I had heard them many times before.
“Yes,Gale,”I whispered,as his grip tightened.”I know,” The years passed,and I endured it all out of loyalty to her mother,who had been my only source of kindness and support.I even turned down an offer to study abroad,fearing that leaving would disappoint her. But no matter what I did,I could never fill the place in Gale’s heart that had always belonged to Lilian,his ex-girlfriend.I was nothing more than a substitute,a shadow of the person she truly loved. So,that night,after arguing with Gale,I felt a quiet resolve settle in me. My professor’s words echoed in my mind. “The scholarship is yours if you want it.Italy is waiting for you,Rachel.” It was more than an opportunity;it was a lifeline.The chance to study in Italy felt like a door finally opening after years of being locked away. That was why I had decided to walk through it,to leave behind everything that had held me back. – The next morning,as I joined Gale for breakfast,he barely acknowledged me,his attention glued to his phone.The events of the previous night seemed to have slipped his mind entirely.
I cleared my throat,determined to press on,to speak the truth that had been aching in me for so long. “Gale,”I began,trying to keep my tone light,”what would you think if I did a master’s degree in Italy?” He did not look up,just waved a hand as if dismissing a minor detail.”It’s up to you,”he mumbled,his eyes still fixed on his phone screen. I took a deep breath,forcing myself to continue.”And since I’ll be there for a while,”I said,careful to keep my voice steady,”what about a divorce? This time,I thought he would stop,maybe look at me,ask for an explanation.But instead,his response was the same casual indifference. “No problem,”he muttered,.still scrolling,completely unfazed. A strange mix of relief and sorrow washed over me.There it was,all the proof I needed that I had been nothing more than a fixture in his life,something he would not miss once it was gone. Gale had not even noticed that I had stopped preparing his clothes,or his water bath,since I had gradually handed those responsibilities to the maids. Everything he once demanded of me had slipped away,and he had not blinked.
“Okay then,”Isaid,pushing back my chair and standing.I looked down at my untouched breakfast,realizing I had no appetite left. As I rose,my eyes drifted to his phone,where a message thread glowed on the screen.The contact name,’My Lily,’was unmistakable. Gale was chatting with Lilian,her name in his phone a reminder of everything I could never be to him.His world,his devotion,his heart,those were all reserved for her. Then suddenly a call came to his phone,it was from Lilian.After listening to her,he directly answered,fully aware,”I’ll be there in a minute.” A bitter smile tugged at my lips.’So,this is what it feels like,to finally know where you stand,’I thought. – After breakfast,I made my way to campus for my graduation ceremony,my emotions swirling between pride and a quiet sense of sorrow. That day marked the end of my years at the Rhode Island School of Design,a journey I had poured my heart into.Soon,I would be leaving for Italy to pursue my dreams. But as I stood there,diploma in hand,surrounded by a crowd of graduates celebrating with their families,the familiar ache of loneliness crept in. All around me,parents hugged their children,some took a photo with their loved one,and laughter filled the air.It was a day designed to be shared,yet there I was,alone in a sea of love and celebration.
I tried to shake it off,telling myself it should not matter,that I had grown used to that feeling long ago.But it still hurt,the absence of someone who should have been by my side,especially that day. “Well,this is how it usually is,so no need to be sad that Gale didn’t come,Rachel,”I murmured to myself,forcing a smile as I took a steadying breath. It was just another day alone,after all. Fortunately,that day my professor came to congratulate me.He was delighted to hear I had accepted his scholarship offer and treated me to lunch as a warm congratulations. “Italy’s going to be a revelation for you,Rachel,”he said with a beaming smile.”I can’t wait to see the artist you become.” “Thank you,Prof,”I answered with a smile on my face. His words really filled me with hope,but as I left campus and made my way home,a shadow of doubt crept in. I found myself gazing out of the car window as we passed by the courthouse,the building looming large in my mind.
The idea of divorce hung over me,and I almost asked the driver to stop.But then I thought of Gale’s mother.How would she feel if I went through with it? With a sigh,I decided against it for that moment. As if by fate,my phone buzzed,and her name flashed on the screen. “Rachel,,dear!’”She greeted me warmly. “Congratulations on your graduation.How about we go shopping together to celebrate?” “It seems nice.” I asked the driver to change course,heading back to the manor to pick her up.When I saw her standing there,a soft warmth replaced my anger toward Gale. Despite everything,his mother had always treated me with kindness.Somehow,being with her felt like I still had a family. We spent hours browsing through the shops,chatting like old friends,and she made sure I did not leave empty-handed. As she inspected a designer bag,I idly scrolled through my phone,checking messages,and then a notification caught my eye. It was a post from Lilian,she was at New York Fashion Week.And standing beside her,beaming,was Gale,their arms linked as they posed like a couple.
The caption read,[So happy to be here again this year,especially with someone you love.]My heart clenched painfully.So,that was why he could not come to my graduation? My grip on my phone tightened as Gale’s mother turned to me,noticing my tension. “Rachel,dear,is everything alright?”she asked,her eyes filled with concern. I forced a smile,swallowing my disappointment.”Yes,I’m fine.Have you found what you like,Mom?” “Yeah,I bought it for you too.I hope you like it,”she said with a warm smile while handing a shopping bag to me. I directly answered,”Of course,I like it. Thank you for everything. Returning home,the manor felt emptier than ever.Gale did not come back that night,or the next few.I tried to distract myself,but a nagging feeling kept me on edge. A few days later,I saw another post from Lilian.She was in Paris for Fashion Week. Once again,Gale was right beside her,looking at her with pride and adoration.The more I looked,the more my stomach twisted. Curiosity getting the best of me,I clicked through Lilian’s stories,each photo stoking the fire of my frustration. One picture showed Gale with Lilian at her parents’home,celebrating her birthday.
In the next,he was smooching her cheek,his arm wrapped protectively around her. “Why don’t you two just move in together already,”I muttered bitterly,feeling a stab of anger I had not felt before. The thought gnawed at me,and finally,I could not hold back any longer. My heart raced as I threw my phone aside,gathered my things,and told the driver to take me to the courthouse.That time,I would not hesitate. I entered the courthouse and signed the divorce papers,my signature firm and resolute. No more wondering,no more waiting.I was taking back control of my life. – A few days later,Gale returned from Paris. That evening,I prepared dinner for us,the first time we had eaten together in weeks.I was calm,focused,the divorce papers neatly folded beside my plate. As he took his seat,I handed the documents across the table. As Gale saw the file,without a hint of reaction,he pushed the papers back toward me.”Put it in my study.I’ll review it later..” Stunned by his dismissiveness,I struggled to keep my composure.”You’re not even going to look at them?”I asked,unable to mask the disappointment in my voice. After everything,that was his response? Gale sighed,reaching for his phone.
“Rachel,can we not do this now?I just got back.I’m tired.” “Gale,”I pressed,my voice trembling,.”do you even care?You haven’t noticed anything,have you?I stopped waiting on you,I stopped being the obedient wife.You barely noticed I was even gone.” “Look,”he said with a careless wave of his hand,”just because you’re throwing a tantrum doesn’t mean I need to jump every time.Now if you’re done,please let me have a peaceful dinner.” For a long moment,I stared at him.In his indifference,I found my answer. I stood up,clutching the papers to my chest,and finally felt the strength to let go. “Alright,,Gale,”Iwhispered,,barely able to meet his gaze.”I’ll leave them in your study.But this time,I’m truly done waiting for you.” I turned and walked away,the papers in hand. As I placed the divorce papers on his desk,my gaze drifted to a stack of receipts and statements lying in a scattered pile. My heart sank as I scanned through them. The list of his expenses for the month since Lilian returned was exorbitant,a full fifth higher than usual. Each item stung more than the last.Among the charges was a new penthouse purchase.I knew immediately who it was for. On impulse,I grabbed a sticky note from his desk and scrawled a short message,”Make sure you sign it!!”