Second Down Darling Novel – I pick at my sandwich, wondering how long the argument will last. Glancing down the hall again, I’m about to ask if I should wait for them when I hear a giggle. “Stop, Jake, my sister is going to hear you and then she’ll know you’ve got a huge manhood.” My heart stops, then plummets to the floor. Jake’s low voice mumbles something in response, but I can’t make out what he says. Nor do I want to. I’m frozen for the next two seconds before I spring out of my chair, grab my backpack, and fly out the front door. But not before my sister wails, “Harder, baby!” Jake texts me later that night. All it says is, Thanks for dinner. Sorry about… you know. It wasn’t what you think. Um, sure. — CHARLOTTE “Jake, do you want—?” I stumble in the doorway of the baby’s room. “Shh.” Jake Ramirez, my best friend, local football god, and the object of all my high school fantasies, shoots me a boyish grin as he drags a finger over his sleeping son’s perfect nose.
Asher, his almost-one-year-old, is sprawled across his father’s chest. “Just got him to sleep.” “Sorry!” I whisper, desperately trying to ignore how handsome Jake looks. His dark hair is in disarray, damp from the shower he took when he got home. The muscles in his shoulders bulge enticingly as he cradles Asher, but it’s the sweet, soft look in his beautiful brown eyes as he stares at his baby that really does it for me. No, Charlotte Darling. We do not ogle this man! For a flash, for just a second, I’m staring at my boyfriend. Who’s cradling my baby. And not my sister’s. I shake my head, ashamed and embarrassed. Thank God no one can hear what I’m thinking or I’d have to move to Bolivia. It was so easy to fall for the charming, epically handsome Jake Ramirez. With dark, soulful eyes, a smile punctuated by dimples, and a body like a Greek god, Jake has been my quiet obsession for years. To be fair, he was my friend first. My best friend.
The reason I got up in the morning and dragged myself to high school. But that was before he met Kota at a party our senior year, and everything changed. My stunningly gorgeous older sibling sidles up to me and lets out a huff of annoyance when she sees Jake. “Are you seriously still trying to get him to bed?” The baby jerks awake at the shrill sound of his mother’s voice, and Jake glares at her. “I’m doing my best here, Dakota.” “But does it really need to take an hour? I’ve barely seen you this week. I thought the thing was supposed to get easier once football season ended. The second semester is almost over, and if anything, you’ve been busier.” Actually, Jake’s been around quite a bit, but if I butt in, she’ll bite my head off. I sigh. This is what they do. They bicker all day, but when the lights go out, they bang like the world is ending.
Or at least that’s what my sister tells her friends. I make a point to never spend the night. Because the very last thing I want in this world is to know whether Jake and my sister like fiends. Kota and I couldn’t be more different. Where she’s outgoing and fun, I’m quiet and shy. Where she’s adventurous and loves to party, I prefer to stay home and read a book. Where she loves being the center of attention, I’d rather blend in and not cause a fuss. Or as my mother tells everyone, I’m the wallflower and Kota’s the prom queen. She’s not wrong. My sister and I are only ten months apart, but she got held back when we were young because she got really sick for a while, which landed her in my grade. It’s been a blessing and a curse.
A blessing because despite my current heartache, I love my sister. I’d do anything for her. Almost losing Kota when we were young screwed us both up, and I’m not immune to the difficulties she faced. A curse because… I look down the hall, my stomach clenching. But then I remember how sick she was, how we almost lost her, and I feel like the lowest scum of the earth. Doctors could never pinpoint what caused Kota to projectile-vomit and waste away. It was terrifying. All those machines and needles. The antiseptic smell of the hospital. The way my sister would cry so desperately when they came to draw blood. Kota’s illness is what kicked off her reality show stardom. It happened one day when a producer was trolling the pediatric ward, looking for a story. Well, he found one. Who could resist a sick seven-year-old with a smile like hers? I’ll tell you—no one. Kota was an immediate sensation, even with an oxygen tube taped to her face and IVs hanging from her scrawny arms. The show, Little Darlings, which featured stories of sick kids but centered around my sister, smashed all kinds of records. Once she got healthy and landed on that other show, Winchester Prep High, she skyrocketed to superstardom.
I know what you’re thinking—I sound bitter. I know I’m a terrible person. Because who begrudges their sister happiness and success after everything she’s been through? It’s just that sometimes, when I’m lying in bed at night and thinking about Jake, I wonder if my sister is as innocent as she claims to be. I’m grateful Kota is alive, I remind myself. I can deal with anything, even my dreadful case of comparisonitis. Her health is the only thing that matters. I pick at my sandwich, wondering how long the argument will last. Glancing down the hall again, I’m about to ask if I should wait for them when I hear a giggle. “Stop, Jake, my sister is going to hear you and then she’ll know you’ve got a huge manhood.” My heart stops, then plummets to the floor. Jake’s low voice mumbles something in response, but I can’t make out what he says. Nor do I want to. I’m frozen for the next two seconds before I spring out of my chair, grab my backpack, and fly out the front door.
But not before my sister wails, “Harder, baby!” Jake texts me later that night. All it says is, Thanks for dinner. Sorry about… you know. It wasn’t what you think. Um, sure. Maybe if I set some clear boundaries and make sure I’m never at their apartment in the evenings, I can decrease the odds of overhearing Jake and my sister sleeping with each other. I’m so torn up about everything, I take a shower and cry into the tile until the water runs cold. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this. I obviously can’t tell my sister, who used to be my main confidante. I can’t tell my best friend I’m in love with him when he’s very seriously committed to Kota. And my mother would freak out if I even suggested I had feelings for Jake. Plus, I’m not a home-wrecker. I would never do anything to come between Jake and my sister. But I need someone to talk to. … JAKE Two years & three months later Some betrayals cut deeper than others. Expectation is everything. Knowing thing’s headed your way and preparing for the tackle keeps a man’s spirit intact despite whatever gale force sacks him.
It’s the difference between staying down and getting back up again. The film flickers against the screen, filling the room with the familiar crunch of player smashing against player. It’s a sound I love. A sound I live for. Or at least, I used to. My mind is a million miles away. It should be on the upcoming game against Alabama. It should be on their killer defense that could pound my hip into the turf come next week. It should be on leading my new team to a victory. Instead, I see my ex, Dakota, hip up, face down on our bed as my best friend Troy railed her from behind. While our baby sat in a dirty diaper and cried in the other room. Mentirosos. Liars. Both of them. I’ll admit I wasn’t excited to have a kid. Not at first. But despite my party reputation in high school, I would never let my responsibilities slide. Unlike my father, who eventually left us, I promised myself I’d be there for Dakota. She and I were a hookup after I’d seen my parents get into another screaming match on my mom’s front porch, one that almost made me come to blows with my father. I was pissed off at the world, drank too much, and banged the blonde at the party who straddled my lap and told me it was my lucky night.
There was nothing lucky about that night. I rub the ache in my chest. No, it feels wrong to think that. I got Asher, and he’ll always be the highlight of my life even though his mother has made my life inferno. I changed everything for her. She planned to attend North Texas U, so that’s where I went even though I’d gotten a full ride to my dream school, Lone Star State, which was four hours away. I wanted to support her and be near our son. I committed myself to her in a way I’d only ever done for family and football. And cheating was the thanks I got. Dakota finally admitted she’d been sleeping with Troy Snyder almost the entire time we were at NTU. At least Asher is mine—the DNA test confirmed it. Sometimes I’m tempted to pick up the phone and call Charlotte to vent before I remember she doesn’t care. That’s a whole different level of betrayal. I don’t even know where she went. Dakota and her mother Waverly won’t tell me anything, and Charlotte changed her number, so it’s not like I can ask her. And even though she took pics for her sister’s social media, Charlie never posted any of her own online. After being on that reality show as a kid, she hated being in the spotlight.
Charlotte was my best friend from high school, the girl who never asked for tickets to games or wanted my help getting into hot parties or grilled me about my college prospects. I had a little thing for her when we first met. With her light blonde hair, big blue eyes, petite frame, and quiet ways, she drew out all of my protective instincts. … CHARLOTTE For a second, I let myself think about Jake and his captivating eyes fringed with long lashes and the way they crinkle at the corners when he smiles. I hope he’s doing well. That he’s kicking hip at football and that he and my sister have worked through their challenges. I say a prayer for him and Kota and baby Asher every night. I might not be in their lives anymore, but they’re always in my heart. Despite moving four hours away, I’m still obsessed with Jake. Not in the way you think. Just… he’s who I compare every man to, especially the datable men around here. And, well, they always fall short. At least Jake didn’t know I was in love with him. That’s a level of humiliation I wouldn’t have been able to stand—him knowing how I felt and still choosing my sister. A scratchy, wet tongue licks my wrist, and it’s my turn to jerk in surprise.
Duke stares back at me and whines. He bows his head, and I reach up to pet him. “Look at you. Aren’t you a sweet boy?” I relish the distraction. Transferring colleges two years ago to get away from the Jake and Dakota helped, but once in a while, those old ghosts haunt me. Mostly I worry about my nephew. My sister isn’t a great mom, something she admits. Kota’s just not that present when she’s with Asher. I’m sure Jake will hold down the fort, but he plays football, so he can’t fill in all the gaps. I miss Asher so much some days it’s hard to breathe. He’s three now and probably doesn’t remember his aunt Charlie anymore. The heartache of not seeing him is what brought me to Second Chances originally. I needed something to fill that crater in my heart. The worst part is I can’t even ask how he and his parents are doing because I changed my phone number when I took off. I left Kota and Jake notes to explain, sorta, so they wouldn’t think anything horrible had happened. And I called my mother so she’d understand why I couldn’t go to NTU anymore. All she did was scream I was ruining everything before she told me not to bother coming home for the summer and hung up on me. Since my father goes along with whatever my mom wants, I didn’t bother calling him because I know he doesn’t care.
My mother was just pissed she’d have to start babysitting instead of dumping that responsibility on me. I’ve been on my own ever since. … JAKE One of the cheerleaders I’ve seen around the field house jogs up to me. She’s decked out in her cheer outfit and full makeup. She looks like a young Zoe Saldana with thick, beautiful hair and a winning smile. “Hi, I’m Roxy. I think you know my dad.” “Yeah, I know the Saint.” She rolls her eyes playfully and grabs my shoulder. “Don’t call him that. It’ll go to his head.”This girl is definitely flirting with me. She’s a stunner, but there’s no way I’ll go there with Coach’s daughter. I’m not a fool. And after that fiasco called Dakota, I’ll never do another hookup. I might never date again. Yes, I’m at risk for a serious case of tendonitis in my hand from all the jerking off, but if it keeps me from ever engaging another drama queen, it’s worth it. I smile politely and turn my kiddo around so I have a reason to move away from Roxy.
“This is my son, Asher.” “Oh my God, you have a son! He’s gorgeous just like his daddy. Hi, cutie!” Roxy is definitely a cheerleader. She’s loud and excited and her energy makes me nervous. That’s when the blonde stands up and whips around, her ponytail flying. Stunned blue eyes meet mine. Eyes that look exactly like my son’s. And my ex’s. What? I open my mouth. Close it. It probably takes me a full minute before I can say anything. “Charlotte?” I’m so shocked, I almost drop Asher. “What are you doing here?” She flinches like I’ve slapped her, and I’m suddenly so mad at her for how she disappeared, I can barely breathe. How does your best friend of five years up and leave without a word? Why couldn’t she tell me what was going on? Leave me a message. Something. Anything. Even if it was to tell me to get away. When she doesn’t say anything, I turn to leave. I can’t do this. “Wait! Jake, wait. Please.” The pleading in her voice makes me freeze. In the back of my mind, I hear my grandmother. Ten paciencia, mijo. Be patient. Sorry, ‘buela. She’s been gone for a few years now, but when I lose my temper, I try to remind myself of her. Abuelita never got mad at me and my brothers, even when we were little manhood, which was often.
Staring at the ground, I take a few deep breaths until Charlotte’s beat-up Reeboks enter my peripheral vision. She got those for her birthday in high school. Dakota would never wear anything but the latest and greatest clothes that companies sent her to model on her social media. It annoyed me that she couldn’t just wear generic clothes. That she always had to be so put together. I don’t know why I’m thinking about Dakota right now. If I could bleach her from my brain forever, I would. “Asher, hi. It’s your aunt Charlie. Remember?” I close my eyes when I hear her voice. Conflict wars within me. I can’t explain why it feels so good to be near her. And so maddening. Suddenly shy, my son burrows his face in my neck, and I lift my head. Charlotte’s light blonde hair is tied up, which makes her blue eyes huge. She’s wearing a t-shirt and jean shorts with those old tennis shoes and her face is free of makeup. She’s gorgeous in a natural way I’ve always loved.
She’s always been slender, petite, but now she’s rocking a few more curves. My manhood sits up and takes notice. What am I doing? This is my ex’s sister, prick. I tilt my head back to stare at the sky. Seeing Charlie again after all this time is like taking an unexpected tackle and getting the wind knocked out of me. It pisses me off that I have any reaction at all. She disappeared without a word. It devastated me in a way I hadn’t expected. I finally turn to her. “No. He doesn’t remember you. Because you left.” Her eyes tear up, and I feel like a hip. I sigh and look around. Everyone who’s here for the photoshoot is staring at us. Dakota always made a production wherever we went, and it makes my skin crawl. Ironic given how much I loved being the center of attention in high school. After games, I felt like a god, strutting around campus like I owned the place. Now I keep my head down and try to get things done without screwing up. It’s a tall order. I stalk off about fifteen feet until my teammates can’t overhear. Charlie is frozen in place, but when she realizes I’m waiting for her, she runs over.
“Is my sister here?” she asks, her voice wavering as she glances around nervously. “Why would she be here? We broke up two years ago.” I could handle breaking up. What I couldn’t deal with was the way Dakota took off to Los Angeles without skipping a beat, never once bothering to see Asher. Her mom Waverly stopped by to see him sometimes, but even that tailed off. The shock on Charlie’s face seems genuine, but I’m not inclined to trust one of the Darling sisters. Fool me once and all that. “What happened?” Her soft voice, so full of compassion, really would’ve had me collapsing like a deck of cards a few years ago. “Don’t pretend you care.” “Of course I care, Jake.” I laugh. It hits me out of nowhere, and I can’t stop laughing. It’s an ugly sound, and I kinda hate myself for being so cold, but I’ve been through thanks to Charlotte’s family. I’m not ready to play nice. “Really? So disappearing off the face of the planet without a word is how you show people you care? Good to know.” “Without a word?” Her eyebrows pull tight. “I left you a note.” “Was something wrong with your phone? You couldn’t text like one of the other seven hundred times you messaged me?” My eyes narrow.
“I didn’t get a note. You left campus and changed your number.” I know because, like a prick, I called and called until I broke down and asked her mom what happened. Waverly flicked her manicured fingers over some invisible lint on her tailored dress and said Charlotte was being a brat and changed her number. I’ve never known Charlie to be a brat, but then she’d never ghosted me before. “I swear I left you a note. I waited until you went to the gym and Dakota had left for the day, and I used the spare key y’all gave me to get into your apartment. I left you both notes.” It pains me to hear that she deliberately avoided me. “Where? Where did you leave them?” Her brows furrow again. “I put hers by the coffeepot with the spare key and yours under the playbook on your nightstand. I swear, Jake. I would never leave without saying something.” “Well, I never got it.” Dakota swore up and down she hadn’t heard from her sister. Although I do remember coming home one day and finding several trash bags by the front door.
Dakota had been in a cleaning frenzy, which was unusual because she was not a tidy person. “What did you say in this alleged note?” Charlotte’s cheeks fire up like she’s sitting under a heating lamp. “I, uh, well…” “Spit it out, Charlotte,” I say as Asher wiggles, tired of sitting still. “It’s just… I needed some space.” I wait for the rest, because what does that mean? But when she doesn’t say anything, I let out another unamused laugh. Unbelievable. “So you take off, change your number, and ghost everyone you know because you needed space. Totally reasonable. And you’ve been here the whole time?” She looks down. “Yeah.” Coach Santos always says we have to talk through things. That not bottling up our feelings when we’re hurt is the key to working through our issues. But after this conversation, I don’t feel better.