Steele Novel – I thought our marriage would be happy, but it turned out so bad. He let me down again and again for hockey and betrayed my daughter’s trust. I didn’t want to go through this pain again, so I chose to leave. Our marriage was bad in the end, and I let Ella down over and over again. 0Worse, I had let down our thirteen-year-old daughter Lucy because I was never quite able to make either of my girls my highest priority over hockey. Every bit of it was my fault, and when Ella asked me to leave our home, I couldn’t even argue. I was a bad husband, and I deserved no less.
Steele Overall, I’d say stalking my wife on her date tonight was a good idea. I kick back in my recliner in the living room of the house I’d rented over five months ago when she kicked me out of our marital home. I ruminate on the evening. By the time she was asking me to leave the house just about five months ago, I was coming into the playoffs, and our team had a real chance to win it. I wasn’t sure I even understood what was going on, but, next thing I knew, I was living in a rented home away from my family.
But screw if seeing her by chance last week at a restaurant with that man, who was very attentive, made her laugh, and made her smile more than I can remember doing in years, seemed to awaken some sort of beast inside me. Like an epiphany, I realized I wasn’t ready to let Ella go. Fast forward to tonight, and yes. I stalked her and her date, with Kane by my side. The mission had been only to watch from a distance while gathering intel. I needed to see if I could glean just how serious they were, because it had been two weeks since I’d seen her with him and a lot could happen in that time.
The mission went south, though, when Ella spotted me peeking around a donut food truck. Christ, she was glorious. Her golden hair cascaded in waves over her shoulders, flying around in an arc as she snapped into a double-take when she caught sight of me. Blue eyes flashing with fury, she’d glared daggers and, even though she was rightfully pissed and I knew I’d pay for it, I’d never found her to be more beautiful in my life. I’d tried to walk away, but she’d caught up to me. Her hand on my arm forced me to give her my attention. Her date—a fairly ordinary-looking man in my opinion—hesitantly stood by and watched… While she chewed me out. I challenged her. “I want a shot at making you remember the good times.” “You mean the intercourse?” she demanded with one side of her upper lip curled in a sneer.
Still, the most beautiful intercourse I’d ever seen. I bent my head, murmuring, “It was great intercourse. And yes, you need a reminder.” Momentarily, I saw heat in Ella’s eyes as she remembered—and could not deny—that we burned it up between the sheets. Even right until our end, we were carnally attracted to each other and acted on it. That flash in her eyes made me want to beat my chest in victory, but the euphoric feeling was short-lived when she said, “A relationship is about more than intercourse.” I wouldn’t be dissuaded. Instead, I tried my charming smile she had once told me was the first thing she’d noticed about me back in high school when we started dating. “Yes,” I agreed, smile going from charming to slightly wicked.
“But it’s a good place to start. I’ll stack myself against any guy you want to date, including that dude back there.” And while I knew by the end of this exchange I was probably going to walk away looking bad, I got one major concession from her. Harshly, she whispered so no one could hear, though I think Kane did. “We’re not having intercourse, so there’s nothing to compare.” Yeah… I had to hold myself back from beating my fists to my chest. Ella may have been seeing Mr. Ordinary for a few weeks, but they had not had intercourse yet, which was crucial in my opinion. While I truly would stack my prowess up against anyone because I have over fifteen years of experience making my wife come, I know Ella wouldn’t get sexually involved with anyone unless her heart was sure.
That fact gave me more courage than anything else—it meant she was taking it slow with this guy. My thoughts divert from earlier events. Lacing my fingers over my stomach, I gaze at the ceiling. I’m a ponderer by nature, so I can stare into space for quite a long time while I mull. Tonight, I walked away from Ella after declaring I wanted another shot to win her back. While we’ve been separated for several months we’re still legally married, but that in no way makes her mine. I’m going to have to work to regain her trust. I’m also going to have to accept she has someone else vying for her attention.
At least, I think that will continue to be the case. Who knows… maybe seeing two hulking, professional hockey players stalking Ella might give him pause? That would be incredibly lucky on my part if so. Deep down, though, I know it won’t be that easy. Our marriage was bad in the end, and I let Ella down over and over again. Worse, I had let down our thirteen-year-old daughter Lucy because I was never quite able to make either of my girls my highest priority over hockey. Every bit of it was my fault, and when Ella asked me to leave our home, I couldn’t even argue. I was a bad husband, and I deserved no less.
My vision going a bit hazy, I realize it’s not just a matter of winning Ella over, but our daughter as well. I can’t say Lucy is totally against me, but if she had to choose a side, it would be Ella’s. Not that Ella would ever let her do that. Quite the opposite, Ella has had to have some stern talks with Lucy when she gives me attitude or tries to refuse to spend time with me. We never did a formal separation agreement as I made it easy on Ella when we split. I didn’t argue over visitation, already knowing she’d have primary custody given my travel schedule.
Money wasn’t an issue, and we still used the same joint checking and savings account as we always did, except now we pay the mortgage on our marital home where she currently resides, as well as rent on the house I moved into. I thought about moving into an apartment, but I figured Lucy would like a house better as she’s an outdoor type of girl and loves having a yard. That didn’t seem to matter in the end, though. When I have visitation with her, she spends most of her time ignoring me in her bedroom. Sighing, I’m aware there are two women I have to win over. I’m up to the task, though.