Surrender Novel – Heart racing, Jade pulled herself up from the floor, gripping the footboard of the king-sized bed that she shared with her husband of twenty-two years. She and Beau had been grilling out steaks on the deck. They were catching up with each other as their busy life was controlling them. Beau taught math at the local high school. Jade taught special needs children at the nearby elementary school. Their teenage kids were involved in sports, and oftentimes rest and conversation with each other didn’t happen; and then it started all over again in the morning. Suburbia. It was a cool, crisp evening.
The moon and stars illuminated the darkness. Crickets chirped, and the meat sizzled in the background, filling the air with mouthwatering aromas. The mood was perfect, but their connection was lost. Jade sensed Beau’s preoccupation. In fact, she sensed it for a few weeks. They were short with each other, making sarcastic comments. They watched TV in different rooms. When Jade would join Beau in the basement after cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, he would often tell her to go upstairs saying, “I know you’re tired. Go relax upstairs in bed and I’ll see you in a bit.” Sometimes he would be on the phone and hang up abruptly when she entered the room. Or was she imagining things? Jade excused herself from the deck to relieve herself.
She headed to the bathroom that connected to their bedroom. After using the bathroom, she saw her phone lying on the bed. She instinctively picked it up, thinking she had not checked her messages in a while. She always kept her phone with her when the kids were out. She would never forgive herself if she missed an urgent phone call from one of them. The first glance was a text message on the face of the phone. “I love you.” A smile spread across her face. They had raised very loving kids. It wasn’t unusual to get random texts like this from them. Her next thought was that it was attached to a phone number, not a name. She had the kids’ names attached to their numbers and locked into her phone. She laughed. It was Beau’s phone! Beau had no technical skills and wasn’t afraid to admit it. He had no idea how to put the kids’ names in his phone.
Jade looked closer to see which of their precious children sent the text. She didn’t recognize the number. Jade felt a sudden sickness come over her. This is ridiculous , she thought. She trusted Beau with her heart and soul. She couldn’t control her curiosity just the same. She opened the phone and looked at other texts from the same number. “Can’t wait to see you.” “I miss you.” “Waiting for you.” With every text, Jade sunk a little closer to the floor. Then she crawled into the bathroom and vomited. Collecting herself, she returned obsessively to the phone. She checked phone messages next. Jade felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. Who is this woman? Anger flared within her! How could this be happening? She felt out of control! She took the phone and headed back out to the deck. Beau was sitting at the patio table sipping his drink, staring into the distance. He was pensive and absorbed in his thoughts, not even acknowledging her return.
“Your girlfriend called.” Jade tossed the phone toward him. She had one of the messages on speaker phone. The words echoed into the night, “I am in my car waiting for your call. I can’t wait to see you.” Beau’s reaction was startling. “Why are you checking my messages?” He questioned her angrily and Jade’s fury raged! “We have the same phone, Beau! I thought it was mine! You are my husband! Are you having an affair?” The questions spewed from her mouth. “No, I am not having an affair!” Beau responded dismissively. “Then what exactly is it, Beau? Did you sleep with her?” “No!” he responded, resolute in his reply. “Did you peck her?” Jade persisted, gasping for a breath. “Yes, I’ve pecked her.” Beau’s response was flippant. Jade felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach. The truth suffocated her; it was like a vice grip on her heart.
She stared at her husband in disbelief. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. Tears flowed. Her voice bellowed throughout the neighborhood, “How could you do this? I am your wife!” Jade gasped for air as her tears splashed onto the floor of the deck before her. “You are a Christian! You are a hypocrite!” Beau was getting uncomfortable. He urged that they move the conversation inside. “The neighbors don’t need to know our business, Jade.” “Are you kidding me? You are concerned for your reputation? Who are you?” Jade’s voice rose. “Do you have a twin I’ve never met? Please tell me this is a joke, Beau!” Beau walked into the house, and slammed the screen door behind him. Jade was on his heels shouting, and unconcerned about who heard them, “Who is this woman? Do I know her? How long has this been going on?”
The questions fired out of her mouth like a cap gun, leaving trails of smoke behind. “I’m not going to talk to you about this until you calm down, Jade!” Beau fired back. Jade put her fingers through her hair, pulling furiously in disbelief of his frankness and utter indifference. “This can’t be happening!” Jade’s throat burned from the outburst. “Calm down? Are you serious? You are seeing another woman and I am supposed to calm down?” She wanted to strike out at him. Her temples throbbed. Beau was getting uneasy. As usual, he got defensive and blamed her. “You are acting crazy, Jade! You are blowing this way out of proportion!” Jade felt heat erupt from her toes. “I’m crazy? I heard a woman over your phone telling you that she loved you and I am blowing this out of proportion? You are clearly the crazy one!” Beau stomped back to the bedroom to grab his keys.
“I’m leaving Jade! I can’t live like this!” “Like what?” she roared back. “Like this!” Beau exploded. Jade followed him back to the bedroom, anger and hurt simultaneously raging through her. “This is not a healthy relationship, Jade! We don’t talk anymore! We haven’t have intercourse in a month!” “Here we go!” Jade retorted. “It’s always about intercourse with you, Beau! It’s not plentiful enough so you just move on to someone else? Marriage doesn’t work that way! We took vows! For better or for worse! Did that mean anything to you?” Jade sobbed in between comments. Her mind was racing, thinking about what they would tell their kids. It would destroy them. She seethed thinking of his selfishness.
“Oh yeah? And what about the passage that talks about submission to your husband? Does that not apply to you, Jade?” Beau stood staring into Jade’s eyes. His temples were throbbing now; his face crimson. Jade was appalled! “That is not what the scripture means, Beau! A man’s job is to treat his wife in a way that she desires to submit to him! It’s not all sexual!” “This is going nowhere,” he barked. “I have to get out of here!” Beau walked out the front door, not even bothering to close it behind him. Jade felt a sudden sense of desperation come over her. Is he going to see this woman? She ran out to the front porch and yelled for him to come back, almost pleading. What am I doing? She yelled his name louder. Beau pulled out of the driveway.