The Illusion Of Us Novel – “Babe, do you think I haven’t noticed? You keep your distance, we barely talk, and when I’m home, you pretend to be asleep. Why?” He gently lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. Ava saw the pain her actions had caused him, and it was too much. Tears began to cascade down her cheeks, revealing her inner turmoil. ‘Are you actually planning to break up with me, Ethan? Is it really true that you don’t love me? Six years, and all this time I was living a lie. How did we end up here? When you said you loved me, I thought it was real. Every peck we shared became the highlight of my days. But now, knowing you were thinking of someone else, it all feels like a cruel illusion.’
Ava and Ethan returned home together after the party, their footsteps echoing in the empty hallway. The apartment, once a symbol of their shared happiness, now felt like a stage set for a tragedy. Ava’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions, replaying the snippets of conversation she had overheard between Ethan and Tony. Inside, Ethan, unaware of the turmoil brewing in Ava, moved about with a casual ease. He soon succumbed to sleep’s embrace, his breathing steady and deep. Ava watched him for a moment, her heart a battleground of love and hurt. She then quietly slipped away to the adjacent room. This room, with its walls and minimal furnishings, offered Ava the solitude she desperately needed. As the door closed, her composure, maintained throughout the evening, began to crumble. Tears, hot and unrestrained, flooded her cheeks.
She sank to the floor, her back against the cold, unyielding surface. Her sobs were silent but intense, each one a physical manifestation of her heartache. The room, barely lit by the moonlight filtering through the window, became a cocoon for her grief. Ava wrapped her arms around herself, as if trying to hold together the pieces of her breaking heart. The words she had overheard, Ethan and Tony’s conversation, replayed in her mind. Each sentence was a confirmation of her deepest fears, each pause filled with unspoken implications. She felt as if her trust had been shattered, the pieces too sharp and scattered to gather. Ava remained there for hours, lost in her sorrow, until exhaustion overcame her. In the stillness of the night, her tears eventually ceased, leaving her drained. As dawn’s first light crept into the room, it found Ava asleep on the floor, her face still wet with tears, a poignant picture of someone broken by the revelations of the night.
Ava awoke the next morning, her headache a throbbing testament to the night’s tears. Her eyes, swollen and red, stung with the remnants of her sorrow. As she glanced at the clock, she realized it was already past ten. Assuming Ethan had left for work, she stepped out of the room, only to be startled by his presence in the kitchen, his hands busy with washing dishes. “Morning, sunshine,” Ethan greeted without turning, his voice carrying a cheerfulness that felt jarring to Ava. He continued, “I made some egg omelet. Eat,” he said, still focused on the dishes. Ava stood frozen for a moment, a few inches from him. Her heart throbbed painfully, a stark reminder of the turmoil she was hiding. “I thought you already went to the hospital,” she managed to say after a heavy silence. “Oh, I will leave in a few minutes. My shift starts at eleven,” Ethan replied with a grin, still oblivious to the storm raging within Ava. She nodded, her movements slow and heavy, as she walked towards the table. The pain she had cried out the night before still lingered, an overwhelming shadow on her heart.
She felt the tears threatening to surface again but controlled them just in time as Ethan sat across from her, observing her with a curious gaze. “Why were you sleeping in the other room, babe? I woke up and you weren’t in our bed,” he asked, his brows furrowed in concern. Ava glanced at him, her eyes a clear display of her inner agony. She responded in her mind, ‘Because you said you hated waking up to me…’ She avoided his gaze, looking down at her plate. “Did you cry?” Ethan’s voice was laced with worry. He reached out, but she was quick to grab her fork, feigning interest in her breakfast. Luckily, Ethan seemed not to notice her discomfort. “Ye…yeah. Uhm, I couldn’t sleep right away last night, so I decided to watch ‘The Notebook’ rerun in the other room, so I wouldn’t wake you up. And you know me, I cry easily,” Ava replied, her voice strained with a forced cheerfulness.
Ethan chuckled softly, his expression softening. “Oh, silly. I thought something bad happened,” he said, relieved. Glancing at the clock, he quickly stood up. “I have to go now, babe. See you tonight, okay?” As he leaned in for a peck, Ava subtly turned her head, and his lips landed on her cheek instead. He didn’t seem to notice the slight, and hurriedly left for work. The moment the door shut behind him, Ava’s façade crumbled, and her tears, once again, began to fall freely. Alone in the kitchen, the reality of her heartache enveloped her, each sob a whisper of the pain she bore in silence. Ava’s life became a delicate balancing act, straining to uphold a façade of normalcy amidst a torrent of emotions.
Nighttime brought its own challenges; sleep eluded her, replaced by the bitter comfort of beverage, which she sipped alone, lost in thought. She had once eagerly anticipated Ethan’s return home each evening, but now she found herself withdrawing. There was a deep longing within her to be near him, yet the pain of his betrayal made it unbearable to face him. Their home, once a haven of shared joy and love, now felt hollow, echoing with the unspoken tensions between them. Ava began a heartrending routine. Each night, as Ethan’s footsteps approached their bedroom, she would feign sleep, her body still and her breathing measured. Lying there, she listened to the sounds of his movements, a silent reminder of the chasm that had opened between them. Then, when she sensed that Ethan had drifted to sleep, Ava would allow herself to open her eyes. In the dim light, she would gaze at his sleeping form, tracing the familiar lines of his face with her eyes.
In those quiet, solitary moments, she could almost imagine that he was still the loving fiancé she had once known, the man who had genuinely loved her. This illusion, fragile as it was, brought her a fleeting sense of peace. But it was a bittersweet solace. As she watched him, tears would often well up in her eyes, silently streaming down her cheeks. The contrast between the Ethan who lay asleep before her and the Ethan who had confessed his true feelings was stark and painful. Each night, as she gazed at him, a part of her mourned for the love they had lost, for the future they might never have. “I’ve missed you, Ethan,” Ava whispered, her voice barely audible in the stillness of the night. Startled, she nearly leaped off the bed as Ethan suddenly opened his eyes. Her heart raced, shock registering in her wide eyes. “I’m glad to know my fiancée misses me,” Ethan said, a hint of hurt lacing his voice.
“Ethan! You’re… you’re awake?” Ava stammered, caught off guard. He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I am. So, please be honest with me, babe.” His expression softened, concern evident in his eyes. “Why have you been avoiding me?” There was unmistakable hurt in his gaze. Ava’s eyes darted away; she wasn’t prepared for this confrontation. “Uh, I… I need to use the restroom,” she mumbled, attempting to escape the intensity of the moment. But Ethan was quicker, his hand reaching out to grasp hers, pulling her close until their bodies were just inches apart. “Please stop avoiding me,” he pleaded, his breath warm against her skin. “I’m not,” she lied, her voice a whisper. Ethan scoffed lightly. “Babe, do you think I haven’t noticed? You keep your distance, we barely talk, and when I’m home, you pretend to be asleep. Why?” He gently lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes.
Ava saw the pain her actions had caused him, and it was too much. Tears began to cascade down her cheeks, revealing her inner turmoil. ‘Are you actually planning to break up with me, Ethan? Is it really true that you don’t love me? Six years, and all this time I was living a lie. How did we end up here? When you said you loved me, I thought it was real. Every peck we shared became the highlight of my days. But now, knowing you were thinking of someone else, it all feels like a cruel illusion.’ Ava thought to herself, her heart heavy with this painful realization. As she intently looked into Ethan’s eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to voice these thoughts aloud. Instead, tears flowed freely, each one a silent testament to her shattered dreams and unspoken agony. As tears streamed down her cheeks, Ava was the picture of heartbreak, yet Ethan was at a loss, clueless about the storm raging inside her. Ava, usually bright and cheerful, now seemed lost in sadness.
The sparkle that once lit up her eyes had vanished, leaving a stark contrast to the joy he was accustomed to. His eyes, filled with worry and confusion, searched her face for answers she wasn’t ready to give. He held her close, hoping against hope that whatever pain she was enduring would soon fade away, replaced by the comfort and security of his embrace. Amy playfully nudged Ava as they shared tea in her quaint shop. “Getting wedding jitters?” she teased. “Your big day is just a month away.” Ava managed a smile, her heart heavy with unspoken fears of the wedding being called off. “Not really. I’m just excited for the day to arrive. I can’t wait to be Ethan’s wife,” she said, her heart swelling with a mix of hope and apprehension. Amy’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Remember how you used to daydream about marrying Ethan back in college? Now it’s actually happening.
I’m so thrilled for you both.” A hint of nostalgia mixed with sorrow appeared on Ava’s face as she thought back to her college days, when she was smitten with Ethan long before they became a couple. She recalled the countless times she daydreamed about being his wife. A tear slipped from Ava’s eye, and before she could wipe it away, Amy noticed. Her best friend’s expression immediately filled with concern. “Ava, are you okay? You and Ethan didn’t have a fight, did you? But that’s unlikely; you two always get along so well.” Ava exhaled a deep sigh, torn about whether to confide in Amy. Since Ethan’s birthday night, her heart had been burdened, and she longed to share her feelings, particularly with Amy. Yet, she found herself unable to speak the truth.
Attempting a smile, Ava reassured her, “No, Amy, Ethan and I are fine. Maybe you were right about me just having wedding jitters.” She forced a light laugh, trying to mask her true emotions. Amy studied Ava closely, searching for signs of truth in her response. “Okay, just remember, if something’s on your mind, you can always talk to me,” she said with a warm, reassuring smile, gently holding Ava’s hand. “I’m here for you, no matter what.” Ava nodded, grateful. “Thank you, Amy.” As time ticked by, Tony, glancing at his watch, raised a valid concern. “It’s already 7 pm. Isn’t Ethan coming?” He looked at Ava, who seemed increasingly uneasy. Ava nodded, a hint of worry in her voice. “I tried calling him, but no answer. His shift should have ended by now. Let me try again.” Excusing herself, she stepped away to call Ethan. The phone rang and rang, but there was no answer. Ava’s worry intensified. She decided to call George, Ethan’s coworker and a fellow resident at the hospital.
“Hey, Ava. What’s up?” George’s voice was casual, unaware of Ava’s growing anxiety. “George, is Ethan still at the hospital? I can’t reach him,” Ava asked, her voice tinged with worry. George’s response did little to calm her nerves. “He left early, like two hours ago. I thought he was with you.” Ava’s heart pounded erratically with fear. “No, he’s not here. Thanks, George. I’ll keep trying to call him.” Ending the call, Ava’s mind raced with possibilities. She considered sharing her concerns with the group but was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up in the driveway. Relief flooded her when she recognized Ethan’s car. She rushed to greet him, eager for a reassuring hug, but froze in shock when the door opened to reveal Ethan… with Violet.
“Violet…” Ava murmured, her gaze oscillating between Ethan and Violet. Observing them together, memories of Ethan and Violet as a couple flooded her mind. “Babe?” He called out, but Ava’s attention was riveted on Violet. Ethan, following her gaze, also looked at Violet. “Sorry I’m late,” he stammered, moving towards Ava. Then Violet interrupted, exclaiming as she enveloped Ava in a hug, “Ava, it’s been ages!” Ava, rigid in Violet’s embrace, clenched her fist secretly. “Violet, you’re back?” Her eyes met Ethan’s, detecting a flicker of guilt before he averted his gaze. “Yep, I’ve returned!” Violet beamed, stepping back from the hug. The sound of Fred’s voice approached from the living room, accompanied by their friends. They all appeared startled upon seeing Violet. “Hi everyone, I’m back!” Violet greeted, waving enthusiastically.
However, the group’s response was tepid, their faces etched with confusion and concern, particularly towards Ava. It was as if they all knew about Ethan and Violet’s past relationship. Amy, with a tone of displeasure, queried, “Ethan, did you pick Violet up from the airport? Why did you arrive together?” Her question echoed Ava’s unspoken thoughts. Ethan finally approached Ava, his steps heavy with reluctance. “Hi, love, sorry I’m late,” he murmured, meeting her eyes. “I… uh…” “Can’t you all show a little excitement to see me?” Violet interjected, feigning disappointment. “I wanted it to be a surprise! I lost your numbers but still had Ethan’s, so I asked him for a lift from the airport. I knew you’d all be here for Fred’s birthday.”
She leaned in to peck Fred on the cheek. “Happy birthday, Fred!” Ava noticed the others’ disdainful scoffs. Violet, glancing at Ava, said, “I assumed Ethan told you, Ava. I didn’t think you’d keep secrets, especially with your wedding coming up.” Her smirk was thinly veiled. A chill ran through Ava, but she masked her pain with a smile, wrapping her arms around Ethan’s waist. “You should’ve mentioned Violet’s return, Ethan. We could have prepared a proper welcome,” she said, pecking him. Ethan replied awkwardly, “I’m sorry…” Tony intervened, easing the tension by ushering everyone back to the dining room. Ethan and Ava sat together, with Violet directly opposite them. “As we were saying, time to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Fred and enjoy the cake,” Sofia chimed in. Carlson emerged with the birthday cake. Following the birthday song, Fred thanked Ava for the cake. “It’s gorgeous,” he praised. “Of course,” Ava replied, her smile hiding the turmoil within.
Laughter and stories flowed as freely as the beverage, with the group reminiscing about everything from Fred’s relocation to Canada to the upcoming wedding. Ava watched her friends, a content smile on her face as she cut the cake she had baked herself. However, the mood shifted when Violet, with a hint of mischief in her smile, said, “So, Ava, did you know that Ethan and I used to date in college just right before I left for France?” Her tone was casual, but it carried an undercurrent of something more. The room fell silent, and their friends exchanged startled glances. Violet continued, glancing at Ethan, “We dated for uh…” She paused expectantly. “How long was it again, Ethan?” Ethan, caught off guard, stammered, “H…huh?” Violet flicked her fingers dismissively. “Right, we dated for two years. Almost three.” Amy, Sofia, and Jasmine rolled their eyes in unison, visibly annoyed. Amy’s voice, sharp with irritation, cut through the tension.
“It’s in the past now, Vi. It’s irrelevant. Why bring it up?” Unfazed, Violet turned to Ava. “I just wanted to ask if you knew. We were each other’s first love, after all. And I wanted to let you know, Ava, that there’s no hard feelings.” Ava clenched her fists under the table, her heart racing. “Of course, I knew,” she lied, her voice steady but her insides churning. “If you hadn’t left six years ago, you and my fiancé might have been married by now.” Her words were bold, yet they echoed painfully in her heart. Violet’s smile wavered, and Ava felt a momentary sense of triumph. Violet raised her beverage can, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. “Oh well, just like what Amy said, it’s all in the past now. I’m happy for both of you. So, cheers!” The toast was echoed, though the cheerfulness was somewhat strained. Ethan, looking visibly upset, suddenly stood up.
“I’m just gonna get some fresh air,” he muttered, then walked out. Ava was left hanging, a wave of concern washing over her. The boys, sensing the tension, followed Ethan out. The girls remained at the table, each lost in their thoughts. Ava decided to help Fred with the cleanup, giving Ethan the space he needed. In the kitchen, Ava silently cleared the plates and loaded the dishwasher, her mind a whirlwind of emotions. Fred returned from taking out the trash and noticed her preoccupied look. “Are you okay in here, Ava?” he asked, concern etched in his voice. “I’m sorry I made you clean up.” She chuckled, a sound more forced than amused. “No worries. I don’t mind at all.” They leaned against the countertop, waiting for the dishwasher to finish, their friends’ muted voices drifting in from the patio. Fred hesitated before speaking again.
“I wanted to know if you’re alright. Violet’s words earlier were quite surprising.” Ava smiled, but it was tinged with bitterness. “I’m good. Thanks for asking, Fred. Did you know too that they dated before?” Fred nodded. “I was surprised to know that you knew as well. They only dated secretly. We found out about it a few months before Vi left for France.” He looked at her curiously. “How did you know?” Ava’s smile faded, her heart heavy. “Two weeks ago…” she confessed softly. Fred saw the pain in her eyes and tried to offer comfort. “But hey, you’re the one he’s getting married to. Don’t let their past relationship affect you, okay? You’re the one he’s in love with.” Ava’s heart sank further. ‘He’s not in love with me’, she wanted to confess, but the words wouldn’t come. Her eyes welled up, meeting Fred’s gaze filled with concern. As the evening came to a close, with Amy and Carlson announcing their departure, Ava remained in a daze. “Where’s Ethan?” she asked, her voice laced with worry. “He went back to the balcony upstairs,” Carlson informed her.
Ava dashed upstairs, needing to tell Ethan that Carlson and Amy were leaving. As she hit the top step, she spotted Ethan on the balcony, beverage in hand. She almost approached him, but then Violet showed up next to him. Ava ducked out of sight, shocked to see Violet there. They seemed so close, too close. Violet broke the silence. “I thought you’d wait for me,” she said, a mix of surprise and hurt in her voice. Ethan, caught off guard, just looked at her. “You kept texting, asking me to come back, even though you weren’t sure I’d get the messages. So why are you getting married now?” Violet asked, sounding betrayed. Ethan, lost for words, just took another sip of his beverage. “You said you loved me. Was that just to get me back here?” He replied, troubled, “When I said I loved you, I meant it.” Violet’s voice was full of disappointment. “Then why go through with the wedding? You knew I was coming back. I thought you’d have broken it off with Ava.”
Ethan ran his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “Ava and I have been together six years. I can’t just throw her away. You should get that, Violet, after all you’ve put me through.” Violet’s face showed guilt. “Your dad wanted me out of the picture. He threatened my future. I had to leave you for my family’s sake.” Violet stepped back, crying. “He would have ruined my chance to become a doctor, and I needed that to help my family out of poverty. I’ve always told you about this. Leaving you tore me apart. But now, I’m back, on my own terms. Ethan, please, come back to me. I can’t stand seeing you with her.” Ethan’s face softened, and he held her close. “I promise, I will,” he whispered, their eyes locked in a silent promise. Ava, hidden from view, felt her heart break. There was Ethan, her fiancé, in the arms of another woman.
She curled up, trying to comfort herself. Luckily, their friends were too busy downstairs to notice her breaking down. Ava’s tears were a silent river, flowing unnoticed until Amy found her, concern etched on her face. Ava, with a trembling voice, begged Amy not to cause a scene. They quietly moved to the back of the house, a quiet spot away from the drama. “Ava, he’s your fiancé! You can’t just let this slide,” Amy insisted, anger and a desperate need to protect Ava in her voice. Ava’s smile was a cracked facade. “Confront them? For what? It’s painfully obvious Ethan was never really mine.” Her voice broke, and the floodgates opened. She collapsed into Amy’s arms, her body wracked with sobs, each one a testament to the depth of her heartache. “He… he said he never loved me,” Ava sobbed, her voice breaking. “All this time, Ethan was just pretending. It’s like I’m trapped in a nightmare I can’t escape, Ames. It hurts so bad!” “What are you gonna do now, Ava?”
Amy asked, her voice a mix of worry and determination. “You’re not gonna just let him go, right? Fight for him, for you guys…” Ava’s voice was shaky, filled with doubt. “I don’t know, Ames. Does Ethan even want me to fight for him?” Her eyes were swimming in tears. “I’ve loved him my whole life. But he’s in love with Vi. How do I make him stay when he’s set on someone else?” Her sobs were quiet but heart-wrenching. Amy was firm, almost insistent. “Come on, Ava. Six years is a long time. There’s no way Ethan felt nothing all those years. Perhaps Ethan’s just tangled in past memories because Vi’s back. But don’t throw in the towel just yet. Trust what you guys had, it’s gotta count for something.” Ava’s tears slowed down, Amy’s words sinking in. A tiny spark of hope flickered in her. “You’re right. I can’t just give up. I’ve got to fight for us.” Amy’s words lit a fire in Ava, reviving her fighting spirit. “That’s my girl. Now, go get your man upstairs. We’ll head out together,” Amy encouraged, a proud smile on her face. She gently tucked Ava’s hair behind her ear. Together, they walked back inside.
Ava, with newfound resolve, went upstairs to fetch Ethan. Violet’s expression turned to stone as Ava told Ethan she wanted to leave. Ethan hesitated, a conflict visible in his eyes, but ultimately, he had no choice but to follow his fiancée. Hand in hand, Ava and Ethan left Fred’s house, joined by Amy and Carlson. Sofia and Jasmine, meanwhile, offered to drive Violet back to her hotel. Ethan’s silence during the drive was deafening, his face a mask of seriousness that left Ava too intimidated to break the silence. Upon arriving at their apartment, he brushed past her, his silence like a wall between them. “Babe, what’s wrong?” Ava ventured, her voice trembling, even though she knew the answer. He was upset about leaving Violet behind, and now his mood was heavy and sullen. She approached him, her hands gently caressing his arms.
“You look so tired. How about a warm bath to relax?” Her smile was full of love, but her heart was heavy. Ethan’s gaze lingered on her, distant and pained, as if he was seeing someone else in her place. Ava’s heart twisted painfully at the thought, and she quickly looked away. “I’ll get your bath ready,” she murmured, not waiting for his reply. In the bathroom, as the water filled the tub, Ava crumpled to the floor, her whole body wracked with sobs that she tried to stifle with her hands over her mouth. The vivid image of Ethan and Violet, intimately close, replayed in her mind like a cruel loop, each scene slicing through her heart. The pain was raw and consuming, tearing through her with a ferocity that left her feeling utterly exposed and vulnerable. In that moment, alone on the cold bathroom floor, Ava felt the full weight of her heartbreak, a deep, aching emptiness that seemed to echo through her entire being.