The Leaving Road Novel – When my mother passed away, I heard my boyfriend talking to another woman in the cubicle. He said that he and I were just friends. They were the real lovers. The memories of us together that came to my mind told me that I was deceived. This is so unfair, Sloane. We’ve been sneaking around together for the last year just so we can’t make her mad. You love me, you slept with me, you moved in with me. It’s time to end things with Maggie Mu.” I almost fainted when I heard this from behind the door. “Baby, you know I love you. I’ll tell her as soon as possible.” I choked. I had to get out of here now. I burst into tears, how could he sleep in my bed almost every night, but he’d been with Cassie for a whole year? I smiled bitterly. I was such an idiot. I had to leave before sunrise.
I smile, as I hear the intro beginning on my favorite song, a chuckle passing through my lips wondering if Sloan played it on purpose. It was our conjoined graduation party; our mothers had planned this since we were in diapers. They were best friends growing up in our small town of Rockland, sitting on the coast of Maine, there wasn’t much to do here so they sat and planned their futures together. Get married, have babies at the same time, best friends, like they were. My eyes misted over, mom passed away last year, she fought hard for a long time, but eventually the cancer took her away from us. No tears. I told myself, this was supposed to be a good night, the best night. The start of the rest of our lives. Our mothers succeeded in one thing though, Sloan and I were best friends.
Of course, it’s a tale as old as time, I’ve had feelings for Sloan since before I can remember, but lately things have been off, I planned on talking to him about it tonight. I planned on confessing my feelings and seeing if perhaps he felt the same way and giving it a go. We have the summer before I go off to school and Sloan stays here to help run his dad’s restaurant. He’s planning on taking online courses to get a business management degree but be here to help and start learning to take over. Our families were thick as thieves, being as intertwined as you could get, it’s faded a little since Mom passed but Lori, Sloan’s mom, has seamlessly stepped in as much as possible to guide me in my last year of high school and into college.
My dad isn’t a bad guy, he just isn’t around much, he is a deep-sea fisherman and is gone more than he is home, usually out of reach for weeks at a time. The love of his life was the sea, and of course my mom. When she passed, there was a time I didn’t think he would make it through his grief, I had nightmares I’d get a call saying he fell overboard because of his drinking, or lack of interest in anything since she had gone. She was the glue that seemed to hold everything together. I was doing my best to keep it that way, but I just couldn’t help but feel like I was failing. While Sloan and I were close, I couldn’t help but realize that we had been spending a lot less time together, our time as of lately has been him sneaking in through my bedroom window after whatever party he was getting home from, we would talk for hours until he fell asleep, usually he was gone before I woke up, but that didn’t seem to bother me, that was us.
Sloan grew up a lot in the last year and a half or so, but I wanted him even when he had more arms and legs than anything else and had braces and wore headgear at night. I used to laugh so hard whenever he had to put it on, but off came the braces, he grew into his arms and legs, and did he grow into them. Unfortunately, that meant people noticed, girls noticed. He was happy and content to end up in the spotlight and I was happy to fade into whatever background was available. Still, he came through my window every night, holding me to his chest. “You quiet the world, Magnolia; I can’t sleep without you.” My stomach fluttered with butterflies, yes, I was going to tell him tonight how I felt. With the way these last two years have gone, I’ve been debating leaving for school anyway. I had been accepted into Iowa States undergraduate program with a focus on Veterinary medicine, it had always been my dream. I got the e-mail today that I had been accepted to start in a summer internship to fast track getting my degree, I was thinking about turning them down though to stay here with Sloan for the summer.
They needed my decision ASAP because it started next week and there was a waitlist for this. I sighed, I guess I should go look for him, he did play my favorite song after all. Probably to lure me out of hiding. Sloan’s house was packed, hardly anyone stopped to talk to me and wish me a happy graduation. Like I said, wallflower. All these people were here for Sloan, and probably Lori’s cooking, which one never turned down. I followed my nose into the kitchen hoping to find someone who looked familiar and possibly get a cookie or two in hopes a sugar rush would get me through the rest of this party. A voice that made me cringe met my ears. Cassie. I guess you could say she was my Bully. The girl was horrible, always taunting me for my size. A size 8, sometimes 10 depending on the brand, my chest was full, and I’d always been curvy. I liked pasta, and donuts, I wasn’t going to give that up, but she had started calling me Maggie Moo once we started high school and had continued calling me that for the last four years.
I never paid her any attention or any mind, life was too short for bullies, and I had more going on taking care of my mom these last few years than petty high school drama. It was who she was talking to that finally got my attention. “Sloan baby, please, why can’t you just tell her tonight, it’s been close to a year.” She stomps her foot; she reminds me of an overgrown toddler. “Cas, you know I can’t tonight. My mom planned this whole party, I don’t want anything to upset my mom. She worked hard on this. Miranda was her best friend and now that she’s gone, she feels obligated to take care of Magnolia the way her mom would have. You know this.” I think my heart stopped beating for fear they would hear it and figure out I was in the shadows in the doorway.
“This is so unfair Sloan. We’ve been sneaking around for the last year, so you don’t upset her. You’re not even friends anymore! So, what gives? You love me, you sleep with me, you’re moving in with me. It’s time to cut the cord with Maggie Moo. I won’t have you spending the summer before our lease starts playing buddy buddy with that cow. You promised! You promised you would tell her before the party, now it’s after the party. What gives Sloan? I’m tired of waiting for you.” Please, defend me, my heart screamed out. “Baby, you know that I love you. I hate it when you call her Maggie Moo. She can’t help that her mom died, and she’s gained some weight, she’s sad. She’s also been a friend and part of my family for a long time. My mom asked me to take it easy on her, to help her through this. I’m just doing what Mom wants so she doesn’t give us anymore grief about moving in together.”
I take a step back and do my best to let the shadows hide me, I can’t let anyone see me. I can’t be here anymore. I’m two seconds away from screaming out in anguish. Sloan thinks I’m an obligation, just like Lori. I have to get out of here, now. I start walking towards the door, totally blocking out the party and the guests. I’ve moved firmly into survival mode, get out, get out, get out. “Magnolia?” Loris honey voice was laced with concern, “are you okay darlin? You’re white as a ghost.” “I have to go.” I whispered, unable to meet her eyes, because if I did, I knew I’d cry, I turned on my heels and sprinted to my car that was parked at the end of the block.
Once I made it home, I fell onto my bed and burst into tears, how could he fall asleep in my bed almost every night, but he’d been with Cassie for an entire year? A bitter laugh escaped me. I was such an Idiot. Fat Maggie Moo, why would I ever think that Sloan would want someone like me? He doesn’t even want to be my friend, he and his mom just felt sorry for me. Well, that, and them. I rolled over and locked my window for the last time and fell into a restless sleep. Morning came and with it, decisions, I opened my email and accepted the internship. I emailed my dad, since he was God knows where right now, telling him I was accepted, and I needed to leave asap. I would be packing up what I needed to make it for a few weeks, boxing up the others and shipping to my new place. I’d be gone by sundown.