Tasting My Hickey Roommate – I always knew this day would come. My secret love for my best friend would be exposed. But not like this. Never this cruel. I dropped my keys twice before I finally got them into the lock. My hands were shaking, mostly from exhaustion, but also from a tiny, stupid spark of hope that I couldn’t seem to smother. It was my twenty-third birthday. I had just finished a twelve-hour double shift at the clinic, my feet felt like they were made of lead, and all I wanted was to walk through that door and see Ethan waiting with a cheap grocery store cake and that crooked grin of his. We had been best friends since we were six years old. He knew today was the day. He had to know.
When I woke up that morning, his bed was already empty. I told myself he had gone out early to plan something special. I told myself not to overthink it. I pushed the door open, bracing myself for a “Surprise!” or at least the smell of something cooking. Instead, I was hit with the sound of packing tape screeching against cardboard and the sharp, soul-crushing sound of something shattering. “Oops,” a high-pitched, feminine voice giggled from the living room. “I guess that one was a bit fragile.” I dropped my bag and sprinted toward the noise. My heart stopped. Maya, Ethan’s girlfriend of three months, was standing over a box, a smirk playing on her perfectly glossed lips. At her feet lay the shattered remains of the vintage, hand-carved music box Ethan had given me for my eighteenth birthday.
It was my favorite gift—one I had kept on my nightstand for five years as a symbol of his promise to always be my “home.” “What are you doing?” I whispered, my voice cracking as I stared at the white shards on the hardwood floor. “Oh, hi Angela,” Maya said, not sounding sorry at all. She kicked a piece of the porcelain under the sofa with her designer heel. “I’m just helping. Ethan and I decided that since I’m moving in today, we really needed to clear out the clutter. This guest room needs to be an office, you know?” My mind flashed back to that eighteenth birthday—to a much simpler time. The rain had been drumming against the roof of his old beat-up car, but inside, it was warm. Ethan had handed me the small, wrapped box with a shy grin. “It plays our song,” he’d said softly, his eyes full of a tenderness that made me feel like the only girl in his world. “Whenever you feel alone, just wind it up. I’m right here, Ang.
I’m always going to be right here.” Ethan. Where is he? I looked around the room in a daze. My books were piled haphazardly in open crates. My clothes had been yanked out of the closet and dumped onto the bed. It looked like a burglary, except the thief was wearing a silk robe that I knew Ethan had bought her last week. “Ethan?” I called out, my voice rising. “Ethan, where are you?” He stepped out from the kitchen, looking everywhere but at me. He was wearing his favorite hoodie, the one I’d patched for him a dozen times. He looked smaller than usual, his shoulders hunched as he avoided my gaze. “Hey, Ang,” he muttered to his shoes. “Ethan, she’s throwing away my things,” I said, pointing to the shattered music box. “What is going on? Why is she packing my room?” Maya stepped up beside him, wrapping her arm around his waist like a victory flag. “I already told her, babe. I’m moving in.
Today. You told me it was fine, remember?” Ethan finally looked up, but there was no warmth in his eyes. Just a weary, annoyed kind of guilt. “Maya’s lease ended early, Ang. It just made sense. We need the space.” “We?” I repeated. “Ethan, I’ve lived here for two years. You told me I could stay as long as I needed to get on my feet. I pay rent. I do the groceries. I thought we were roommates. I thought we were friends.” “We are friends,” he said, but he sounded like he was reading from a script. “But things change. You’ve been here long enough, don’t you think? It’s getting a little crowded.” The air in the room felt thin. I felt the tears stinging the back of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall in front of Maya. She was watching me like I was a show, her eyes gleaming with triumph. “Today is my birthday, Ethan,” I said softly, giving him one last chance to be the person I thought he was. “Did you even remember?” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Does it matter, Ang? Really? A birthday is just a day.
Maya needs the space now. We can’t just put our lives on hold because you want to blow out some candles. You’ve had plenty of time to find your own place. You’ve been here long enough.” It was like a switch flipped in my head. The crushing weight in my chest didn’t disappear, but it hardened into something sharp and cold. I looked at him—really looked at him—and I didn’t see my best friend anymore. I didn’t see the boy who used to share his lunch with me or the man I had spent years secretly pining for. I saw a coward. A ghost of who I used to know. “You’re right,” I said, my voice suddenly steady. “It doesn’t matter.” Maya’s smirk faltered for a second. She probably expected me to beg or sob. Instead, I walked past them both and grabbed my hiking backpack from the hall closet. “Angela, look, you don’t have to leave this second,” Ethan started, moving toward me. “Maya said sunset, we can help you move the big stuff to a storage unit or something..” He hesitated, then added quietly, “You can leave most of your things here for now, Ang… if you don’t know where to keep them yet.
Just take what you need. You can come back for the rest once you find your own place.” The words landed heavily. So I really was being sent away. Just… slowly. It hurt, but I nodded once. That was all I could manage. “Don’t touch me,” I snapped, and he froze. I went into the room that used to be mine. I didn’t bother with the clothes Maya had touched. I only picked what I would need to survive in my colleague’s place — a few clothes, my toiletries, and my charger. Everything else… I left behind. I also grabbed my laptop, my documents, and the few photos of my parents that hadn’t been boxed up yet. I moved through the apartment with a frantic, cold energy. I was done. I was so incredibly done with being the girl who waited around for Ethan to notice her. He had noticed me, alright. He’d noticed I was an inconvenience. I walked back into the living room five minutes later, my backpack heavy on my shoulders. Looking down at the shattered music box, I felt a lump in my throat. I should take it.
But what would that matter? It’s of no use. So I left it behind. Even though it had been my favorite gift, it didn’t matter to me anymore. As I reached the door, he spoke again. “I asked a friend about a roommate. He’s nice. The place is nice. I can text you the address.” I nodded without looking back. That evening, I went straight to my colleague’s place. She let me crash on her couch without asking questions, and for a few days, it became my temporary shelter while I tried to figure out what to do next. For those few days, I toured apartments that were either too expensive, too tiny, or downright depressing. By the fifth day, my feet hurt and my hope had thinned. I needed something that was okay enough for a human to live in, but also cheap enough so it doesn’t affect my pocket. I had debts to clear up, and this newfound situation wasn’t making it any easier. Finally, after a few days, I decided to check out the place Ethan had mentioned. It was a penthouse- level apartment-elegant, cold, and expensive. I knew I couldn’t afford it. But curiosity made me ring the doorbell anyway. The door opened. And my heart dropped straight to hell. Liam. The university’s golden boy. The campus hockey star whose face was plastered on banners and sports pages. The boy every girl had crushed on at least once.
And the one man I absolutely did not like. We went to the same college, and for as long as I could remember, we had never liked each other. We weren’t enemies, but he was a tease, and I hated him for that. Now he stood in front of me shirtless, water still dripping from his hair, sweatpants slung dangerously low on his hips. “Well, well,” he drawled, eyes dragging over me. “If it isn’t Ethan’s little shadow.”